I know how you feel and i am sorry for you.
I have been having similar problems like this for around maybe a few months i think. I hope i never go too far with it, depression hurts like a bitch,
Even i hurt myself multiple times a day, i don't know why but it just makes me feel better, a while ago i put a pair of scissors to my neck and nearly ended it, i feel like i wasn't meant to exist,
I get treated like shit, my oldest brother calls me a douche bag, my mom always finds a reason to get mad at me, my older brother still acts like a little kid and always calls me a "bully" for no reason, my sister acts like a bitch to me.
Overall i just hate myself and want to end.