Bro watched the Roman Empire collapse

Bro knew the dead sea when it was getting sick

kids who vape got a signed copy of bible

My man was a stowaway on Noah's Ark

His expiry date expired

Bro was classmates with Adam and Eve

If he dated an ancient eldritch god the age gap would be too big and he would be considered a pedophile

bro was roommates with Moses

Bro’s age is like Buzz Lightyear

Infinity and beyond

also lowkey started reading this in the voice of those chat music youtube shorts

Bro’s fish was a xenacanthus

Bros first pet was a wooly mammoth

Mammoth mentioned

bro remembers when Burger King was still prince

bro was the great grandfather of gollum and Darth sidious