In a gentrified alley, all vegan and chic, lived
a cat so woke it made humans feel weak.
With pronouns tattooed on its glittery paws,
it clawed at tradition, citing systemic flaws.
It donned tiny glasses, though it couldn’t read,
and yowled, “Capitalism’s the enemy of need!”
It unionized the mice, gave them dental and pay,
then ate them for lunch in an “equitable” way.
This cat banned all milk, called it dairy oppression,
while sipping oat lattes in a purr-fect obsession.
It meowed at the moon, “Down with the patriarchy!”
But begged for belly rubs, quite the hypocrisy.
It started a podcast, “Whiskers of Woke,”
where it hissed about borders and catnip as dope.
It canceled the dog for fetching a stick,
“Colonial fetch? That’s a boomer trick!”
It wore a Che Guevara collar, oh so bold, but hid from the rain, fearing it might catch cold.
It demanded reparations for every stray,
then napped on a throne of cashmere all day.
Oh, stupid woke cat, with your heart so pure,Your logic’s a tangle, your reasoning obscure. You chase your own tail in a spiral of thought, a liberal dreamer, both silly and fraught.
