SCP document

SCP-500; SAFE; SCP-500 MUST BE STORED IN A COOL AND DRY PLACE AWAY FROM BRIGHT LIGHT. SCP-500 IS ONLY ALLOWED TO BE AC-CESSED BY PERSONNEL WITH LEVEL 4 SECURITY CLEARANCE TO PREVENT MISAPPLICATION. SCP-500 IS A SMALL PLASTIC CAN WHICH AT THE TIME OF WRITING CONTAINS FORTY-SEVEN (47) RED PILLS. ONE PILL, WHEN TAKEN ORALLY, EFFECTIVELY CURES THE SUBJECT OF ALL DISEASES WITHIN TWO HOURS, EXACT TIME DEPENDING ON THE SEVERITY AND AMOUNT OF THE SUBJECT'S CONDITIONS. DE-SPITE EXTENSIVE TRIALS, ALL ATTEMPTS AT SYNTHESIZING MORE OF WHAT IS THOUGHT TO BE THE ACTIVE INGREDIENT OF THE PILLS HAVE BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL. NOTE FROM DR. KEIN: SCP PERSONNEL BELOW LEVEL 3 ARE NOW BANNED FROM HANDLING SCP-500. THIS IS NOT TO BE USED TO CURE A HANGOVER. GET AIDS AND THEN ASK PERMISSION. CONFIDENTIAL! THIS DOCUMENT THAY NOT BE SHARED WITH OR USED BY PERSONNEL BELOW THE DESIGNATED CLEARANCE LEVEL