cheems

HOW can I really be expected to believe:
-that there currently exists humanoid type creatures with WINGS, who have magical powers and primarily reside in another dimension but can see into ours and can travel back and forth as dictated by their boss?
-that these humanoid creatures once had brethren, one third of which revolted against God and now those guys lost their wings (in some cases) and instead grew incredibly ugly, grew pointed tails, grew horns out of their heads, and turned blood red? Some now carry around pitchforks…and like the previously mentioned humanoids with wings, they too can see into our dimension and travel back and forth as dictated by their boss. Sometimes these bad humanoid creatures inhabit the bodies of actual humans and make them do and say all sorts of crazy, even superhuman, things. Head spinning around, vomiting like a firehose, and levitation seem to be their favorites.

HOW can I really be expected to believe:
-there was a magic tree in an unspoiled and perfect garden that would grant eternal life to anyone who ate from it? No DNA degradation. No illness or disease. No growing old. Just live forever IF you eat its fruit … but wait, since death hadn’t entered into the world yet, wouldn’t they have just lived forever anyway? Why even bother with the magic Tree of Life?
-there was ANOTHER magic tree, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, that would make you know the difference between good and evil if you ate its fruit because apparently no one alive (two people) knew the difference between good and evil prior to eating from it?
-there was a talking snake, with vocal chords no less, who tricked a woman into eating from the knowledge tree?
-that a woman was “fashioned” from the rib of a man … who was made from “dust”.
-that the two humans who ate from the magical Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil had no such knowledge of good vs. evil prior to partaking … so therefore, how could they even comprehend that disobedience was wrong/evil?
-that those same two humans could understand the concept of death for their disobedience when death wasn’t even invented (and who invented it?) and death wasn’t even a thing they could comprehend? Sounds like Adam and Eve were set up to fail.
-that God really meant “spiritual death” even though the text says no such thing? You gotta jump through flaming circus hoops to make it make sense -- kinda like “I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.” Uh, nope.
-that Adam and Eve should’ve known what “spiritual death” was having been alive for only a couple of hours or days or … who knows?
-that God brought the millions upon millions of species of animals to Adam and asked him to make up names for them? And remember them in the Hebrew language which wasn’t even around until roughly 800 BCE?
-that the entire human population came from only two individuals (twice) when DNA science proves that there have never been fewer than 10,000 humans? Remember populations evolve. Individuals do not.

-That a 90-year-old woman who had previously gone through menopause, had sexual relations with her half brother, and gave birth to a completely healthy, normal, undiseased child named Isaac.
-that a donkey, which doesn't have the anatomical features to even form words, actually spoke to warn a man about an unforgiving angel with a flaming sword ... an angel that the man couldn't see but the donkey could? So maybe donkeys can see into the angel/demon dimension?
-there is an unforgiving god who destroyed every living thing (except fish and mammals in the sea) by way of a worldwide flood, for which there is zero worldwide evidence? There IS evidence of local floods … no one disputes that … but there is zero evidence that this flood was worldwide, lasted less than a year, and covered Mt Everest by 20 feet or so ..
-that carnivores exited the ark and ate nothing until the herbivores could reproduce in sufficient quantities that their populations wouldn’t be destroyed by a couple of big cats … or in the case of The Ark Encounter, all the meat eating dinosaurs (LOL - people really believe this drivel)?
-that the earth, covered in a saltwater brine for a year, was magically able to generate enough vegetation and produce to feed Noah, his family, and the millions of animals exiting the ark … INSTANTLY?
-that Noah was somehow able to spread unique seeds to every continent so that each continent had it’s own highly unique plants and it’s own unique animals … uh, not to mention it’s own unique fossils, unique geologic strata, unique insects, unique, bacteria, viruses, etc.
-NOTE: the PMM (perpetual miracle machine) was in overdrive apparently so why not use it to fix things rather than destroy them? Hmmm?

-that Sodom and Gomorrah were actual cities (neither of which has ever been found archaeologically) and they were destroyed by "fire and brimstone"? Please define what this “fire and brimstone” actually IS. There should be evidence somewhere unless God hid it …
-that a woman was turned into a pillar of salt because she glanced at said fire and brimstone?
-that a magic bush actually burned with fire yet was still there? Where is this undying bush today? Surely it’s still around …
-that 3 million people left Egypt and went south to cross the Red Sea, when the so-called "Promised Land" was a 3-5 day walk away from where they already were? It was about 200 miles and it took them 40 years … that’s about 432 feet per week assuming they didn’t travel on the Sabbath … even though that wasn’t in the law quite yet.
-that sticks turned into snakes and then back again?
-that the Nile River turned to blood? Not just turned red -- actually turned into blood.
-that a pillar of cloud and a pillar of fire led the Hebrews through the dessert ... in circles … for 40 years … wait, maybe it was 80 years since that entire generation had to die first?
-that a "death angel" swept through Egypt and only killed the firstborn of everything (livestock AND humans) who didn't have lamb's blood sprinkled by a poisonous plant on their door posts and mantles? But, but, how did this Death Angel kill the firstborn livestock since all Egyptian livestock was killed in Plague #5? Maybe the myth writers forgot their own story. See Ex 9:6 vs 12:29
--BUT WAIT, that was the 10th plague. Didn’t good ol’ God ALREADY kill every piece of livestock in plague number eight?
-that three million people had enough cattle, sheep, goats, vegetables, grain, water, tools, flax, linen, pottery, lumber and firewood to survive for 40-80 years in the dessert but left not one shred of evidence in the form of broken pottery, wagon wheels, axles, bones, dried fossilized animal feces, campfire charcoal, or dead bodies/bones from the millions of sheep they sacrificed or from the estimated 2 million people that had to have died along the way?

-that bread fell from heaven for 40 years, enough to feed those 3 million people?
-that millions of quail blew up from the ocean to feed those people?
-that water came out of a rock after being struck by a stick?
-that venomous snake bites were cured by looking at a bronze replica of that snake?
-that the earth opened up and swallowed ** only ** the rebellious followers of Korah?
-that meteorites fell from the sky and ** only ** killed the enemies of the Hebrews?
-that the earth suddenly stopped spinning around the sun for a full 24 hours (the sun “stood still”) so Joshua could win a battle?
-that the sun actually WENT BACKWARDS for King Hezekiah?
-that human skeletons can come back to life and walk around? (Ezekiel -- who also saw a UFO by the way)
-that camels were around during Abraham's time when science shows they were not domesticated in the Middle East until 930 BCE?
-that rapists get to marry their victims?
-that the blood of a bird can cure leprosy? Leviticus 14:4-7
-that crippled people or those with Downs Syndrome are not allowed inside a church building?
-that non-virgin brides are to be stoned to death?
-that slavery of other peoples from other nations is OK -- AND you can sell your own kids into slavery if you need the cash?
-that a disembodied hand appeared out of nowhere to write prophesy on a wall for Daniel to read then supposedly disappeared again?
-that three young men actually walked around in a "furnace" -- how big was this thing? Surely there should be furnaces of this type found in the archeological record … no???
-that said furnace had a thermostat and could be heated “7 times hotter” than normal? Did they have thermometers to measure this increase in heat because thermometers were not created until the mid 1800s?
-that a man had magic hair that made him strong? So. Much. Magic.

-that a stone or iron or bronze axe head actually floated to the top of the water because someone said a magical incantation (also known as “prayer”)?
-that a widow's oil and flour never ran out when they originally had enough for only one meal?
-that a man could be swallowed by a whale (or fish depending on which story you read) and the animal's stomach acid wouldn't kill him after three days … three days without oxygen? Inside the stomach of an animal…
-that a loving god would actually harden the heart of a brutal dictator so HE could receive glory? How narcissistic can you get?
-that God actually had to tell the Israelites in Deut 23:9 "when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the Lord your God moves about in your camp to protect you"? God coulda stepped in it??? Inspired, inerrant, infallible, and authoritative right there …
-that Lot was called righteous and listed as one of the "heroes of the faith" after he offered his two virgin daughters to be gang raped and THEN got them pregnant himself? His. Own. Daughters. And he is celebrated by the author of Hebrews and by default, God himself, as a hero of the faith? Would YOU celebrate such a person? Why or why not?
-that Saul asked for 100 foreskins from David so he could marry his daughter but David returned with 200 foreskins? Think on that request for a moment. Really…??? Substitute foreskins for p**is tips. David had to handle the manhood of 200 other guys. What is it with God and foreskins (aka the tips of men’s p**ises)?
-that God got mad at Moses and decided to kill him but his wife, Zipporah (who’s father was a Midianite priest), read God's mind from afar and knew that a p**is tip (foreskin) from her son would appease God? What is it with p**is tips? Sheesh man.

- that God didn’t stop Jephthah from performing HUMAN SACRIFICE of his own daughter
** TO ** God as a way to say “thanks for ‘helping’ me defeat some enemies.” This is sickening. He slit his own daughter’s throat AS WORSHIP TO HIS GOD. The real question is -- knowing all this -- why did God allow Jephthah’s daughter to be the first thing to exit his house? If you were God, how would YOU have handled this? I have a feeling YOU’RE better at this than this monster you call ‘God.’ “Hey Jesus, watch this, Imma make him kill his little girl.” The Jews celebrate/remember this disgusting travesty today with a four day ritual called Tanat L’vat Yiftach.
-that a “spirit” (please define THAT), impregnated a virgin. Tell me about that DNA and how it all worked.
-that a star “appeared” in the East and wise men FROM the East decided to go WEST to find the King of the Jews because that’s what you do when a star suddenly appears…???
-that a man could actually walk on water unaided … why not just fly out to the boat? Probably because Superman hadn’t been invented yet.
-that 4,000 to 5,000 people could be fed by a few loaves of bread and a couple of fish, with more food left over than was originally started with?
-that someone can cure blindness with magic spit mixed with dirt, made into mud, and rubbed on the blind guy’s eyes?
-that people were healed when they jumped into a swimming pool where the water was supposedly agitated by angels?
-that hundreds of zombies came out of their tombs and walked around Jerusalem but NOT ONE actual (real) historian bothered to record it … and in the Gospels, ONLY Matthew did? Really? Was this earthquake just his “perspective?”
-that not one but TWO earthquakes hit Jerusalem (and the rocks were split) and not one actual (real) historian recorded them?
-that an absolutely BRUTAL Roman governor, Pilate, didn’t get royally ticked off when he received reports about a guy he put to death STILL wandering around the city for up to 40 days? Pilate was removed from his position because his brutality was too much even for Rome! And this is the guy that supposedly released a known rebel against the state in order to crucify Jesus? A rebel whose name, Barabas, translates to Son of the Father? This whole scene too closely mimics the sacrificed lamb / scapegoat motif in the Old Testament.
-that the sun was darkened for THREE HOURS and not one actual (real) historian recorded it? Not even three other gospel writers? Did they forget?

-that merely touching the hem of Jesus’ robe healed you? More magic.
-that people were healed by Peter’s shadow? Even more magic.
-that angels could break people out of jail and make doors and gates open like going into a grocery store today … but the gates weren’t opened when Pete showed up to the prayer meeting and a little servant girl had to open them?
-that a “lake of fire” with never ending torture awaits unbelievers under the earth somewhere ... while there is eternal life after death with no sickness, no bad stuff, no DNA degradation, no aging, no tears, and nothing ever goes wrong in a city which is 1,500 miles cubed, having 12 gates (for letting in … whom?) made out of semi-precious stones, with mansions and food, including a tree that has 12 different fruits all during the year (wait, they still go around the sun?) for Christians only.
-that when his rules (some were stupid and weird, some silly, some understandable) were being broken by humans, this benevolent “god” had his anger appeased by the slaughtering of lambs, goats, cows, certain birds, and eventually his own son? How is YOUR anger appeased? Since you’re supposed to be imitators of God as dear children, shouldn’t YOUR OWN anger be appeased by slaughtering animals?
-that one day, you’ll hear magical trumpets in the sky and a dude will appear all over the globe at once and people will shed their clothes and fly naked but “clothed in righteousness” (really?) into the sky to go live in another dimension that exists without time (but there’s a tree that changes fruit every month … in a place without time)?

You can’t be serious. This sounds more like the Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings or Superman or Harry Potter type stuff. I can no longer force myself to believe these fairytales, myths, legends, and fables.

Remember, this is the Holy, Inspired, Infallible, Inerrant, and Authoritative Word of God on how to cure a "defiling skin disease"...

4 the priest shall order that two live clean birds and some cedar wood, scarlet yarn and hyssop be brought for the person to be cleansed. 5 Then the priest shall order that one of the birds be killed over fresh water in a clay pot. 6 He is then to take the live bird and dip it, together with the cedar wood, the scarlet yarn and the hyssop, into the blood of the bird that was killed over the fresh water. 7 Seven times he shall sprinkle the one to be cleansed of the defiling disease, and then pronounce them clean. After that, he is to release the live bird in the open fields.

If you had not read this in your Bible, you’d say someone was trying to perform some sort of witchcraft. But this is the Bible LOL. Bird’s blood, cedar, scarlet yarn, poison plants, fresh water, clay pots … sheesh. It sounds like the witch’s in MacBeth Act 4 Scene 1: “Double, toil and trouble, fire burn and caldron bubble, fillet of a fenny snake, in the caldron boil and bake, eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue of dog, adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting, lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing, for a charm of powerful trouble, like a hell-broth boil and bubble.”

Oh that was in the Old Testament…so you’re saying it worked 4,000 years ago?

You can’t get me to believe something that goes against all standards of evidence. I cannot just “choose to believe.” NO ONE CAN. You can’t satisfy my personal standard of evidence by rewarding me for believing something or threatening me for not believing it. At the very best, you’d only get me to pretend to believe it out of a hope for personal gain or a fear of loss. What’s the point of that? Is that TRUE belief? I don’t think so.

If all of the benefits of belief are contingent on my belief, yet I’m just faking it to receive those benefits, then wouldn’t God know it? Maybe not since according to Jeremiah 19:5-7 God can actually be surprised by someone’s actions.

This actually sounds like a woman trying to convince a rich man that she loves him for who he is and not for his money …

The resurrection is like saying someone stole my car. Upon questioning, I say it was a Mexican who walked up and stole it while I was at a gas station. My second story is that two Mexicans drove up in a pickup truck, one jumped out and stole it while I was getting fuel at a gas station. My third story is that a black guy wearing a gray hoodie with three friends stole my car while it was parked at a fast food place next door to a gas station. My fourth story is that a white woman stole my car while I was in a Walmart parking lot and she peeled out of the parking lot while laughing at me.

Which story is the truth? Are any of them true? As an investigator, what is more likely -- that all of them are true or is it more likely that all of them are false? Was there even a car stolen? You can’t say “well the central part of the story is about a stolen car.” NO. Period. The central part of the story is that none of it matches anything and is most likely fiction. And later you discover that I’d been watching a lot of movies about stolen cars and had a vision, uh, err, I mean a dream that my car had been stolen…

Yet Christian apologists say that all the stories are true, they’re just told from different viewpoints. But remember, this is supposedly THE pivotal event of human history … and the most powerful being in the universe is supposedly dictating/revealing/”inspiring” this information to four men, three of whom were supposed witnesses to this pivotal event, and they couldn’t get their stories straight? Remember, ALL these stories were written AFTER Paul had been preaching his gospel for over 20 years … were they written to prop up his visions?

Yes. They're "fan fiction" and mirror so many other fiction novels of the time.

We don't believe that

The flat earthers I've encountered think that we're taught of a globe earth as part of a conspiracy against god and the bible.

I have actually talked with people arguing that the Bible is true because it contains a description of the ROUND Earth, and (they said) how could people back then realise that the Earth is round without the Holy Spirit guiding them, or something like that, therefore it must be divinely inspired, etc. So our dear Christians can’t even agree on whether the Bible talks about round or flat Earth.

Well it's a sin to use the Bible to prove something stupid. Do not use the lords name (and thus word) in vain