Interview with the Most Intelligent Android of this century + Short Story - technically collab with devilish

better story than I'll ever make

have an upvote. its freaking amazing

Nooo don't say that.
This was a collab with devilish

Ok

Terra: I'm surprised I could even get you out of your office

*The interviewer walks in*
Liam: *sigh*

Interviewer: *sorts through notes for a second*
Liam: Bet he'll be so excited because he'll get a promotion if he gets info out of this interview
Terra: if I have to answer all the questions for you I'm using those vacation days you owe me.

Liam: Bet he'll ask things about how my company works, how i started it, how i treat my employees, if I have sponsors, how efficient is my defensive system and why is my company so secretive.

I scanned his notes.
Terra: most of those are just standard interview questions, just answer them.

Liam: Yeah there's a second page. *Sigh*
Welcome to my humble home

Terra: *trying to look official*

Interviewer: so, how did you start your company?

Liam: I actually started as a medical workshop. An "Android Doctor", I offered high quality full body repairs and augmentations for the swift price of 100k, which is less than half of what other high quality workshops offered. Naturally I got popular quickly.
Terra: ... 100k seems a little high but I guess you could say it's quality over quantity.

Liam: Considering high quality full body augmentations from other workshops cost from 500k to a million, I'd say it's the biggest deal you can have

Interviewer: fair enough. I've also heard your brother used to help you with that, would you like to mention a couple things about him?

Liam: My brother manages a facility of his own, he does various research which is also useful for me. He also manages an energy creating program which produces enough energy a year to satisfy the energy usage of a whole planet. He's a hologram manifested physically.

Interviewer: interesting *writes a couple things down*

Liam: I'd rather do other stuff... *He mumbled to Terra*
Terra, quietly: you can do other stuff after this is over. Stop acting like a child.

Liam: *sigh* next questions?

Interviewer: what does your company do now that you're more than just an "android doctor" as you said before?

Liam: We cover multiple grounds. Machinery, Technology, Armory, we make vehicles, and much more.
We cover basically the entire universe.

Interviewer: impressive

Liam: What would you expect from a multi-trillionaire company? *Taking some pride in that*
Interviewer: fair enough

Liam: Next question.

Interviewer: *flips through notes a bit* out of the stars you harvest energy from, how many do you make go supernova?

Liam: 0.1%. Supernovas produce so much energy that we don't need to explode many. We just go there and poof
*Liam could have probably explained that better*

Interviewer: hmm... How do you choose which stars to use?

Liam: Terra why don't you respond? You don't expect me to say everything, do you?

Terra: you're the one they came here to interview, but fine, if you insist.

*The interviewer looks at Terra*

Terra: we have plenty of procedures we go through when picking a star to destroy, such as the star's age, composition, and how likely it is to collapse rather than explode. One of these processes is checking each planet for life, as we don't wish to force any species into extinction. We do have further procedures if we make an error in this process though.

Liam: Even though we only have a couple of minutes to do anything

Terra: ... You mean after it starts going supernova, right?
Liam: yeah

Terra: ok

Interviewer: *writing things down*
Liam: -_-

Interviewer: I've saved this question for last because it may or may not be infuriating to you

Terra: *slightly concerned*

Interviewer: there are rumors that a female android named data beat you in a fight after an online argument. If that rumor is true, have you made upgrades to yourself since that incident?

Liam: would you consider this an upgrade?
*He points his arm to the side and it transforms into a giant cannon, glowing yellow, making the whole room yellow*

Terra: o_o

Interviewer: ... I'll take that as a yes
Liam: *arm goes to normal* I bet that wasn't your last question.

Interviewer: well there was a rumor about your brother also defeating you…

Liam: I thought this was an interview of my company.
I'll respond anyways.
It was when I made my brother mad by insulting his girlfriend.

Interviewer: oh. That question wasn't initially planned for the interview anyway since there wasn't as much evidence supporting the rumor

Liam: *sigh*
Terra: so... That's it?

Interviewer: that's everything I wrote down, at least.

Liam: I'm certain you've got more questions that you desperately want an answer to.

Interviewer: uh.... *Looking through notes*
Liam: man this is boring… I'd rather terrorise some people than this.
Terra, quietly: Liam, what the hell.

Interviewer: oh, looks like I missed a few questions.

Liam: -_- I wasn't serious.

Well then, what are these questions?

Interviewer: how are the working conditions of your employees?

Liam: depends on the work. If it's working on a star there's many risks, if it's cleaning the halls it's a bit sadder but safer.
Interviewer: makes sense

Liam: Though the high risks are compensated by high pay.
My secretary here is working on a system to reduce injuries and eventual casualties.
You can ask her for more info.

Interviewer, to Terra: so how does that system work?

Terra, unprepared for the question: uh-
Liam: Respond and I'll give you an early vacation day starting tomorrow.

Terra: *stuttering gibberish for a second* ... *Ahem* we're currently working on a remote control system so that workers can operate without any threat of lethal injuries, the main neural network will be kept just out of the calculated range of the supernova so that even in the worst case scenario we have zero casualties.

Liam: We're also working on finalizing our regeneration chambers

Interviewer: ooh
*Writing stuff down*

Liam, to Terra: Did ya ever go to one of those android clubs. I did. I'd like to go there again some time.

Terra, quietly: Liam, this is one of the worst times for you to be horny.

Interviewer: *completely oblivious*

Liam: *pouts*

Interviewer: does your company have any sponsors?

Liam: Yes my company does have sponsors. Primarily Ikea, another multitrillionaire company, that helped me grow into what my company is today.

Terra: don't they do it in exchange for search and rescue operations in their planet sized stores?

Liam: Yeah but we also offer transport vehicles, they give us a whole bunch of different building materials, with sometimes a bonus of furniture.

*the interviewer giggles a bit at the last part*
Liam: If I were you I would go to one of those clubs *whispers to terra*
Terra: *grumbles a little*

Interviewer: How does your company keep this facility and it's employees safe?

Liam: The ASE: Advanced Security Entity. Comically named after my son, Ace.
Terra: Isn't he the Head of that department?
Liam: Spesifically born for that.

Interviewer: Would you mind explaining more about your son? The only information to the public is his name and his height, apparently.

Liam: He's an android with average ai intelligence with maximum battle iq. He's able to analyse his opponent instantly, learn from him, and adapt to him in a fraction of a second.
He can also change slightly the size of his body so he can fully utilise the fighting style he's using. He uses the best fighting style to counter his opponent, to deal the maximum damage and receive the minimal damage.
Overall, he's on the level of many of those “strongest” out there in the universe.

Terra: That seems a bit overkill…
Liam: I will go to the extremes to protect my company.

Interviewer: That's really interesting *writing stuff down*
Liam: *hands over to the interviewer a photo of Ace* Here's a picture. You'll need a bit more than just his name.

Interviewer: now the actual last question. How did you get your company to be so successful?

Liam: I'm not saying you should go with me but-

Oh uh, well, I... Uh…
Interviewer: ?

Liam: Well... I didn't immediately get good sales. I only got cheap customers, but I got popular, I got better at surgery and raised the prices, then the rich people came.
Next I hired workers, started harvesting energy and constructing my facility.

Interviewer: hmm

Liam: I mean, if you want me to show you where the club is I can *talking to Terra*
Terra: shut.

Interviewer: ... Was I not supposed to hear that part?

Terra: o_o
Liam: *immediately points a massive energy rifle at the interviewer*
*glowing eyes* You did not hear anything.
Terra: don't shoot the interviewer.

Interviewer: ;-;

*the rifle retracts*
Liam: I'm not saying you should go with me but that i should lead you there-
Terra: that's basically the same thing

Interviewer: I'll just... go. That was all the questions anyway

Liam: Finally…
Terra: *deep sigh*

Interviewer: *leaves*

Liam: *gets up* I'm never doing that again.
Go back to work. We've got money to make