I just had the most scary anxiety attack of my whole life. My lungs are burning, my voice is dead even tho I didn't scream, my eyes turned red (litteraly), felt like my heart could stop anytime since it was going so fast and my body was shaking like a f**king possessed dude in an horror movie. Omg the depression is real chat. I feel so dang alone even tho there's people around me, I have trauma of my child ages coming back to me when my parents yells, i'm so different now, im not myself anymore, feels like im a puppet who does what the puppetmaster wants even tho I don't want it. Oh gosh I need someone who loves me. I feel so alone... I had that anxiety attack for I think a whopping 1h30min (I think, it felt so long.) I can't control myself anymore and peoples seems to not understand that i'm fragile and unstable. Can't hide this pain under that skin anymore. I had to let it out. And my mom that was yelling thought I was shaking and breathing heavily just to play the victim role. Thanksfully she realised at the end that something was wrong and she asked me if I wanted to see a psychologist. Even tho my minds said "no", I knew i needed to nod my head as a "yes".
Gosh it's hard to realize all of this happenned to me in a single morning. Hope things will change soon... man.
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