Pov: Just a salesmen

Autumn: uh hello?

???: Hey! You here to buy a TV? Just 20 dollars! And for 25, I can upgrade your old TV!

Autumn: i'm... atheist... wait shoot wrong thing...

???: Good! Cause this TV makes sure that it doesn't play christian channels!

Autumn: and what’s wrong with it?

???: Well it's annoying so yeah!

Autumn: … 15 dollars. And ill give you a mint from my pocket

???: Deal!

*hands TV*

Autumn: *gives wrinkled 15 dollars and already opened lifesavers mint* wait how annoying is it?

Phantasm: *opens door with a shotgun*
No I don’t want your retail products/insurance/home improvement services. I’m not paying taxes and i’ve already accepted the Lord as my savior. Now leave

(she’s prepared for this kind of interaction lmao)

killmote: hi!

???: Hey there weird... thing...? anyways I'm selling some Tvs! Just some grand Tvs for a cheap price! And if you're really willing to pay extra, I'll even upgrade your old TV!

killmote: ...my body is a remote, why would i need a tv, i can just steal one from someone else

Data: bill cipher lookin' eyes

*The TV flickers off, not responding to Data*

Data: *bangs on the top* tell me what's going on or I'm getting the sledgehammer.

*The TV turns on again, but it's just static, mocking Data*

Data: *gets a sledgehammer out of her closet* I wasn't joking you little shit

*The Tv sorta just chills there*

*she gets ready to swing it*

*It makes contacts and breaks the TV but then everything reverts and the TV is back to normal*

*she swings again at a different angle and knocks it across the room*

*Same thing happens, as it reverts to being not broken and at the same place it was*

*so still on the other side of the room?

???: *His eyes twitch a bit before going back into character*

Hey weird robot rabbit thing! How would you like to buy a new TV for only 20 dollars? And if you pay 5 dollars extra, I'll upgrade your old TV!

Data: nah, I've already got better ones than that.

???: But these ones are special! They got a special little feature that no other tv has!

Data: lemme guess, a camera and microphone so you can spy on people.

???: Nope!

*He says confidently*

I'm not telling you what it is until you buy it.

Data: well I'm not gonna buy a scam TV with a fictional extra feature so...

???: *He falls over as his neck splits open and out crawls out a tall monster thing made out of static before it suddenly fast fowards into a future time*

???: Thank you for agreeing to buy the tv

*The Tv is in Data's hands now*

Data: I never said I would buy it...

???: No refunds!

*They say as he just stands there lifeless*

Data: wait, I never paid you either... what the hell?

*yeah*

Data: TF KIND OF MAGIC TV IS THIS

*The static fickers into a middle finger*

???: No refunds!

*He says in the exact same tone*

Data: ... *Waves a hand in front of his eyes*

???: No re-

*Everything glitches out and Data is now in her home with the TV*

Data: Tf kind of curse did I just get myself into

*She decides to check her systems for abnormalities and she checks how much money she has*

*Data has lost 20 dollars, just like the salesman said. However her system doesn't seem to detect anything strange yet*

*"yet"*

Data: ... Might as well see what's so special about the TV.

*She finds a seam and tries jamming a screwdriver into it to open the TV*

*The minute she gets in, it reverts back like nothing happens*

Data: ... Huh?

*The TV flickers on with the words: "Can't let you cheat, Data"*

Data: I bought the TV, although not by my own will, I should be able to do what I want with it.

Atlas: huh?

???: Hey you with the purple hair! Care for a new TV for a cheap price? If you pay extra, I can upgrade your old TV for you too!

Atlas: uh.. I’m good, thank you

???: come on! Whats a bit of entertainment in your life? Maybe something in invite the whole family over!

Atlas: I already have a really nice tv-

???: Then I can upgrade it for you!

Atlas: No, no I’m really ok-

???: ... *He's just smiling at her*

Atlas: … *backs away*

???: *He falls to the floor and makes some sounds like he's choking on something*

Atlas: are.. you ok?

*His throat slits clean open as Static pours out*

Atlas: AHH-
*runs away*

*The static forms into some create as it roars and then... everything reverts*

???: Thank you for purchasing your new TV! No refunds!

*the TV is in Atlas's hands*

Atlas: …
*puts the tv down and leaves*

*Everything reverts and ATlas is back holding the TV*

Atlas: *throws it down angrily*
I DIED ALREADY, LEAVE ME ALONE