We interrupt our programming.
This is a national emergency.
Important details will follow.
[BEGINNING ALERT TONE]
The following message is transmitted at the request of the United States Government. A foreign invasion has begun in the North-Eastern United States. At 10:17 AM Eastern Daylight Time, several Russian Fighter Planes attacked several targets, including the cities of, but not limited to: Boston, Portland, New York City, Trenton, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and Scranton. The North American Aerospace Defense Command reports that a second and much larger wave of Russian Fighter Planes and Bombers is inbound. The United States Air Force has been dispatched to intercept the incoming Russians, while the National Guard is working on those already in the United States. All residents in the North-Eastern United States should shelter in place now. All other Americans should remain vigilant, and be prepared to seek shelter, or evacuate at any time. Remember to keep all necessary supplies, such as food, water, clothing for a few days, medical supplies, and a battery-powered radio. Remember, in the event that you lose power, tune your battery-powered radio to 707 TM for information during this emergency. The president is being taken to safe shelter, and is expected to make a statement in the next few hours. Stand by for this message.
This is an Emergency Action Notification. All broadcast stations and cable systems shall transmit this Emergency Action Notification Message. This station has interrupted its regular programming at the request of the White House to participate in the Emergency Alert System. During this emergency, most stations will remain on the air providing news and information to the public in assigned areas. This is WNEP. We will continue to serve the Wilksberry, Scranton area. If you are not in this Local Area, you should tune to stations providing news and information for your Local Area. You are listening to the Emergency Alert System serving the Wilksberry, Scranton area.
Do not use your telephone. The telephone lines should be kept open for emergency use. The Emergency Alert System has been activated.
[LOOP TONE]
Caption this Meme
