Would you stop being a downer
Write down on a paper and tape to your door "I will do (productive thing) this frequently" or "I will do (productive thing) until it is (at a satisfactory level of quality or skill)"
Will you or will you stay in this perpetual state of "fml, I'm worthless"
You certainly will feel like a failure if you don't just work on self improvement
You're a really sweet person, or at least you represent yourself as one
And if you weren't would you really act like it on the internet, where you're free in several different ways?
Then f**king do it
Many things work for self esteem. I in particular enjoy working out but you might see self esteem in basic activities that allow you to see growth such as some form of construction or competition or writing or program.
Make yourself a healthy and reasonable goal and follow it.
If you need more or have a problem with that lmk