Please. Don’t do it. Search up “kevin hines buzzfeed” on youtube. The first result changed how i saw suicide

tl;dr to the video:

You don’t want to die. What you actually want is your problems to go away.

I just watched it, that actually made me feel much better myself

good, make sure to try to live a long and happy life!

From my experience I feel like wanting to die is just wanting everyone else to die and reducing to the common denominator. You just want to get on the other side of the styx and you don't care who's west.

Please dont hurt yourself... Things get better, ok? keep on going.

Get Tumblr
Less toxic than here

bad/timing

Think of those you affect in your life
Do you have a s/o? Parents? Friends. Each and every one of them will lament your life. You should stay. Observe so much more. There is more than death over your past and your present problems.

You don't want to die. Because death is permanent and nobody will save you. You'll regret self harm. It's not a good thing to do.

Have you ever been there? When you get to that point, you either think those people will be better off w/o you or that it's worth it and you won't have to see them suffer anyways.

Yes, I have, I've tried to strangle myself, hang myself, slit my wrist and jump off a cliff. And yet I'm here today writing to you. Because someone helped.
If nobody helps then there is virtually no chance of reconsideration. Others have to show your worth to them to make you see.

Ok, just making sure. I'm just talking from my experience. Whenever I got there I always thought everyone secretly hated me but faked liking me off of pity. I genuinely get surprised of y'all kiddos having this much experience, but I guess I don't have that many bc I spent from 11 to 16 wearing a cishet mask.

I still hate and disgust myself, which is why I joke and try to care about others
It's a distraction from that, and in a silent room I'm ways in my head.

I just dissociate. Like I just think of 3 of me "Mitra", who's my wish to live, "[insert deadname here]", who represents my wish to disappear, and a third kind of personality, the true one, as I reason really fast and I'm pretty autistic, I kind of feel like my interactions aren't me and I'm just playing a character, yk? I'm not me, I'm a character played by me and a toy to be used by anyone who wants, and that's enough 4 me.

I feel the "I act like a toy" sometimes to get myself to do stuff I think of myself as a character in an FPS, where each movement becomes rigid and weirdly perfect and my head only thinks about the task at hand

"Ada" the real me
"Louis" or "Lucy" my previous save
undefined- the one who controls me

Ik we're talking abt serious stuff but my brain just jumped to deltarune.
I genuinely have always been a theater kid, and I've always been able to turn myself into other people other than sometimes I get stuck in some roles due to peer pressure. My stuff isn't like that rigid fps character. It's like I'm a fiction on the surface of this unknowable mind putting on a performance to protect her. I genuinely want to die, not the body, but this mask. I want both mitra and [DEADNAME] to die so I can be me, yk? Maybe the schizo is more than posting.

Ye

Me and the rats in the rubber room.
But like genuinely, rereading this and I gotta talk to my psych

Yeh, same