someone needs to remind me to work on my sona and/or template.

W

unfortunately i still cant trust them with things. but i can talk to them.

now ask to be friends then thats one more person to play uno with!

Yay! (I hope)

its a good thing. because i don't have depression [citation needed]

then yay!!!

it fixed a while lot of things actually... wow. I'm way better.

That's amazing! I'm happy for you

the reason why this is a big deal is because it has been the surce of my depresssion (and they are still yet to apologise XD)

You're a good person for doing that, it shows a level of maturity that exceeds theirs if they have not yet apologized. You should feel proud. If they cannot even drop a single "sorry" before being forgave then they didn't deserve you.

first of all, they dumped me. second of all, I was already being immature by blocking them out of my life when they were trying to talk to me (likely about jokes but still). third of all, I'm talking about apologies with reason not just "sorry" (they did like 50 of those.).
so in reality, I was also in the wrong.

Okay still you actually went out of your way to forgive
And actual forgiveness is superior to simply "sorry"

they did too, just in their own style. (stop trying to make me in the right and them in the wrong, there is no clear right or wrong person.)

Im going to stop talking now

I've been such a bad person to them... they say "its fine", I'm not sure it's fine...

Don't get in your own head

but that is where i have spen the last 2+ years. in my head figuring out what is in others.

You spend your life inside your head. To poison it beyond what it is, to not move on from your past, is to make your mind unclear and harmful to exist inside. You cannot escape your mind; but you can bury your past and take it out when you're with a therapist or person with a therapist-like role.
Leave your past to dry from your tears and your memories will be clear. Should they affect you still, reach out to someone, honest but helpful. To take responsibility is not to put yourself down but to even yourself with the other person.

I realize I tried too hard earlier. My apologies.

i feel like we both have different definitions for inside one's mind. (I'm introverted so I think a lot.)

I'm very introverted as well.

Here's what I think of the human mind.
I consider Memories, Ideas, Considerations/Ideas, Objects, and Emotions to be inside one's mind. Each of these categories affect each other.

Memories defines what you remember, heavily laced with imperfections created by Emotion, which is in turn created by Memories.

Considerations and Ideas defines what you think of various things and what your decisions are. These are affected by Objects, and they also play into your Emotions and by proxy your Memories, as you may analyze what others say and do with you altered perspective and what you find to be reasonable. These could also be called reasoning and logic, but I think that that is combined with Objects for practicality and brevity.

Objects defines what you know or think you know on a purely platonic level. These are altered by Emotions to create ideology but pure Object can be defined as something like a math equation. It's something quantifiable and scientific. Ideology is merely your logic and Emotions mixed with your Object. What is morally right to you.

I won't get into more detail about what may be mixed to create different aspects of your mind. And I am not a professional. And I'm learning and growing. This is me putting what I have subconsciously picked up into communications. It is similar to attempting to explain high level computer language with low knowledge of what it actually is. But it is all I have. And it is what I can give. This is very technical by nature; the human mind is a complex working. I hope this provides insight on how my mind works.

n̶i̶c̶e̶
that is really complicated. It's a good thing I read it all.
ill have to think about why I tick not what makes me tick.

Thank you!

do... do people not normally read the whole thing?

Haha! Nope! LMAOOO

i gues its important to know how other people feel when it doesn't get seen

Agreed