I sexually identify as Freddy Fazbear. Ever since I was a boy, I have dreamed of being a silly bear animatronic who sang the toreador march. Every day, I look in the mirror and say “ HUr HUr Hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur”. I shine a flashlight on my face in dark doorways at school. If you do not accept me as a silly bear from a 10-year-old mascot horror game then you are a fazaphobe and should get your security guard eligibility checked. Thank you for being so understanding
