Okay, Trump-cult kids... Sylvester the Cat jokes aside, it's time to address the greater implications of Dear Leader's lisp.

The convenient Xplanation is that he wears dentures -and there's no shame in that; lots of people his age wear dentures. It's no big deal. Except there's a pesky li'l idiosyncrasy the Orange Menace has consistently displayed over the last near-decade... ...that being the closer something hits to where he lives, the greater the lengths to which he'll go denying it, the more likely he is to phrase those denials in terms of "I never," the more likely he is to tell a tale of Don-Don's Adventures in Opposite Land. But I get it... you guys probably want to deny any possibility that's the case. Except there's all the people about whom he's said "Never met 'em" when their acquaintance became problematic only to have contradicting photographic evidence, video footage come to light... So let's consider his response when asked about his relationship with the Carrie Nation's nemesis:; "I had a brother, Fred. Great guy, best-looking guy. Best personality, much better than mine. But he had a problem, a problem with alcohol. And he would tell me, don’t drink. He was substantially older and I listened to him and I respected him. He’s also added 'don’t smoke.' But he would say it over and over again. And to this day I’ve never had a drink. And, I have no longing for it. I have no interest in it."; If we take into account Dear Leader's veracity... "issues," his language explaining the underlying motivation for his self-alleged dry state of being -i.e. "to this day I’ve never had a drink. And, I have no longing for it. I have no interest in it"... ...coupled with a later relating of an implied "but it just broke my heart the way he [Fred Jr. d-1981, age 42 of presumed alcohol-related cardiac event when D.J.T was 35] died. VISIBLY INTOXICATED, late '90s/early 2000s; "It was ridiculous if you think about it. He had so much in front of him. So much. This is why I don't drink, ever. I just don't do it." clarion call, it's reasonable to have suspicions. Of course, the political stakes for engaging in a legal vice like drinking are low to non-existent so this is a rather small-potatoes issue... ...unless one considers that a common trait of recidivist alcoholism is the tendency to fall back into the bottle when times are tough, stress levels are high. Which, ultimately, brings us back around to the issue of Dear Leader's significantly slurred speech the other night and his campaign's sudden -but, frankly, rather clockwork- roll-out of the "Harris has a drinking problem" gambit; -the former being quite reasonably, understandably explainable by the fact he's staring into the muzzle of criminal sentencing, impending trials, potentially more criminal charges on the horizon in Arizona, his freedom essentially hanging by a 'but muh status as former POTUS' thread; and the latter being what is reasonably inferred to be a case of his campaign making a tragically obvious attempt at 'no, you'-ing a silk purse out of a slurring sh--bag.