I’ve always felt I was born in the wrong body. I’ve always felt like i don’t fit. I’ve always felt like something’s wrong with me, and when I discovered my pronouns, it didn’t feel like that was what it was. I didn’t feel like my body conveyed the wrong gender. Sure, my pronouns are one thing, but my body still felt grounded where I was. Even on my masc days, I still didn’t feel like changing everything.
It’s not a secret I’m therian, since February, and finding my theriotype through meditation and inside experiments.
Yesterday, I was thinking. I started questioning my identity as a therian, thinking I was just a faker. I googled it, and some of the signs were “doesn’t really talk about it” and “it isn’t 100% their identity” and I started really feeling like a faker. Some people reassured me saying it was fine that some days it’s not fully on my mind, and just because I don’t talk about it much doesn’t make me a faker, but I still felt wrong.
Until it happened. Last night, I had my first shift, besides phantom shifts. I felt it. My hands were my paws, my legs were my paws. My hearing got more sensitive. I felt a tail and ears on me. My legs were twitching for me to just run away, and keep running. Of course, I couldn’t. I didn’t. I wanted to bite something, to hunt. I just laid in bed, waiting for it to go away.
It eventually did. It only lasted around five minutes. When I looked down at my feet, I was filled with disappointment. They were just feet.
That’s when I realised.
Caption this Meme
