Back in 2017, 11 year old me was looking for a meme template, I found this place and made an account called cheezballz or smt like that, I remember making my first friend with an emo guy and then realizing that this was the only place I'd ever be accepted. A year later I've made more friends including someone yall might know as .Dark she was my first real bes friend, and there's a lot I have to come clean about. I was once everything I hate. I'm telling yall this so yall don't make the same mistakes I did, I hated myself so much I changed everything about me and now I don't know who I am anymore. So with that being said, I used to be gay, I used to be a furry, I used to listen to nothing but hard rock, I used to be completely drug-free, I used to write stories for fun, I used to have a side part, I used to role play, I used to hate sports, and I used to be happy. Someone with really extreme depression will appear as the happiest mf u know, and you will never know. Someone who struggles getting off that bed everyday will put on a fake face just to make it through the day. My mental state is the worse it's ever been. Everyday I feel like I've failed everyone, my family, my "friends", and you guys. I am a complete asshole, I've bullied innocent people, I've made someone go into a depressed state, I've injured people, and I've hurt everybody around me at one point, ask any of my ex's or friends. I am doing this because I don't want yall making the same mistake I did. Be yourself and nothing else, no matter how much you might get made fun of. Right now I'm addicted to nicotine, weed, and alcohol. I've smoked Crack, I've been in countless fights, I have more ex's than years I've been alive, I've lost more friends than you can imagine, I hate myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm violent and dangerous to be around and I'm no longer proud of it. Life is beautiful when you know who you are and as of right now, I lost myself trying to be a version of myself I thought people would accept. I was thrown in dumpsters, I got gallons of water shot at me, I've been hit by anything you can throw. And I was so little and filled with dreams, now those dreams are gone.
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