The weakest light DOES break the deepest darkness. I can be that light if you'll let me. What's the problem?

I dunno, bro. I just feel shitty almost all the time and I don't even know why. It's like something clicked in me 3 months ago and now I can't get out of this hole of void. I appreciate your offer to be that light but I really don't want to trouble you or something. But thank you, dude, thank you🫂

It's no trouble at all, that's why my username is what it is. I'm here to help.
So... do you know what happened? Was there an event or did you just decide "screw it, I'm done"?

Honestly? I don't even know why I feel this way. Everyday became a challenge to me. I just don't want to wake up. I just feel like a complete nonsense, like crap. Sorry that it took long time for me to finally reply back.

Everything just started to go downhill. But sometimes I think that everething had actually started 2 years ago cause it was that time my first thoughts about kms started. Though I wasn't really depressive back then, just at mornings. But I guess that I maybe shouldn't ignore it cause everything just worsened lately. Maybe if I didn't ignore my thoughts back then I could avoid the situation I am in right now.

I am sorry for texting so much

Don't be sorry, I'm here to listen and help if I can.

Keep in mind I'm not a real therapist but it seems to me like your issue could be a lack of motivation and self esteem. Essentially part of your mind is telling you "hey you worthless loser, since you're not doing anything anyway, why doncha do everyone a favor and die?". Don't listen to it. Embrace life to the fullest!

Do you do have any hobbies, play sports, stuff like that? I'd suggest you start doing those things. Get outside in the sun, go hiking, pick up a paintbrush, keep a journal, etc. etc.

And even if you don't like talking with people, just hang around and listen to them talk. Your mind can become stagnant if it's stuck with just itself for company for too long.

Lastly, don't ignore those thoughts. Write them down and try to understand the reason behind them. And I'd suggest going to an actual therapist, for all I know I'm doing more harm than good here...

Yeah, my motivation and self-esteem sucks, I even can't get out of the bed sometimes. But I will try and go outside in the sun and start to hang out with people as you said. It's gonna be hard but better try than nothing, right? And dude, you did no harm in this conversation we had. Actually, my "friends" and family didn't even try to help me this much as you did(They just abandoned me when I opened up to them). So I am thankful that you actually listened to me and tried to help me🫂

(And about therapist, I think that my family probably will be against it or will just laugh at me if I get one. It's kinda hard to explain why. But thanks for advice.)