Explanation in the comments. This has done nothing for my depression.

Every day of my life, I feel like people are taking me for granted. That sounds self-righteous and egotistical now that I say it out loud, but I just don't feel like anyone ever notices the things I do. Everyone has told me that that's not true, and that *someone* sees the things I do. But I can't help but wonder...

Now onto my "epiphany." If that's true and most people don't notice the things I do for others instead of myself, then when will they notice them? That was the question that led me down a rabbit hole of depression. Long story short, I arrived at this conclusion: the only time people will realize what I've done for others instead of myself is the day I stop doing those things.

In other words: no one will actually appreciate me until I die.

Now I'm stuck sitting with this thought, and I just can't shake it. I wish I had never asked that question.

I want to jump through your screen and hug you harder than I have anyone in my life
You seem like you may need it

That paints a terrifying/hilarious image in my head, but yes, I really need a hug...

The sad thing is I don't have the capability to do so
All I can say is that and an "I love you" (platonically of course)

Thanks...

Anytime

I love baby animals, and cats are always super cute... thanks, I needed that.

No problem at all

I feel the same about the epiphany

Not the depression part tho, mine was not like that

Huh. My depression is a never-ending downwards spiral of anxiety and existentialism surrounding a dread of death and being alone founded off of a belief that nobody can love me because of who I am and what I've done that forces me to ponder the meaning - or lack thereof - of life in a terror-inducing delve into the depths of my subconscious that brings up memories of things I'd much rather forget.

What was yours like?

Not good enough type deal

It's like no matter what I always fail, I will never accomplish anything in life and stuff

The "I'm not good enough" argument is somewhere in there. It's probably playing Poker or Gin Rummy or something with my looming terror of being left behind by the constant passage of time and fear of dying alone without anyone to love in my final moments. I'm sorry you felt like that.

Yeah, all that because of bullying, it was so bad that at one point I actually started to believe ot

*it

Same... my bullies constantly tell me that no one could ever love me because I'm an idiot and too obsessed and clingy and that I should just crawl into a pit and die an insignificant speck that no one will ever remember or think about, resulting in suicidal thoughts and a constant dread of being forgotten by by my friends, family, girlfriend (if I ever get one), etc.

Same...

(Context: Japanese always sounds happier than English no matter what you say, try it out by asking Google Translate to say it)

誰かが私を愛してくれるといいのですが

Did you ask Google Translate to say the sentence?

Yed

I'm not doing okay

Same....

Have you tried exercise?

Yes. It only made me feel worse about myself by making me realize how out of shape I am.

I assume you tried medication as well?

Yup

by that logic, why not try to make sure your funeral is as packed as possible?