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574 views 55 upvotes Made by DaBigMe 6 months ago in Dark_humour
30 Comments
[deleted]
2 ups, 6mo,
11 replies
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding, vaporeon is not the most compatible pokemon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however vaporeon has its human on pokemon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, umbreon.

Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defense stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, inner focus allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued.

Umbreon also has access to the ability synchronise, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect, breedable pokemon.

A great fun fact, umbreon can excrete toxins in it's sweat, which would in turn soak your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your umbreon as well (which with synchronise, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). It can learn payback, which doubles in power after the pokemon is hit, meaning umbreon will throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn guard swap, it could give you it's insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance.

Speaking of endurance, umbreon also has access to endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as slam, pound, etc;

It's access to the abilities inner focus and synchronise allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of it's pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes umbreon the most qualified to breed with humans; able to take d**k of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
1 up, 6mo,
1 reply
You Should Kill Yourself NOW! | image tagged in you should kill yourself now | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
Criminal Offence | image tagged in criminal offence | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
Uno Reverse Gauntlet | image tagged in uno reverse gauntlet | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo
Lmao
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo
Now where is Jolteon…
0 ups, 6mo
bro thinks this is english class 💀
0 ups, 6mo
im not reading all that
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
I read the first paragraph and I already want to kill myself
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
Smash the Pokémon and you won’t feel that way anymore
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
I will not be doing that
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo
You should because I did
0 ups, 6mo
...
0 ups, 6mo
0 ups, 6mo
smash
0 ups, 4mo
I have that meme
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
WTF
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
Hey… YOU’RE AN UMBREON!
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
NAHHH STAY AWAY FROM ME
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
0 ups, 6mo
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
*eats cock cutely* ha, now you have nothing to take
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
the licence
[deleted]
0 ups, 6mo
Well I don’t need one now. *hands over*
0 ups, 6mo
this caught me off guard lol
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