bronzer (which reacted badly with your body chemistry, leaving you with a strange skin color): $60. blonde hair dye (which may have made you look younger once, but at this age is just unnatural): $72. hair weave, which won't come off if a talk-show host gives it a yank (but still looks
like a rug; avoid wind & helicopters): $1500. continuing to use these products because you've already been seen with them in public & you believe
that you're fooling people
as long as your appearance
doesn't change: priceless.
