Uhhhhhhhhh….

"So who gets his house now?"

Happy birthday! You died well.

I wanted their ashes spread at an amusement park.

thank god, i was getting horny

WAIT I JUST REALIZED

“I’m sorry I beat you with a frying pan, jimmy. I just wanted to commit necrophilia, you see.

/j

You were an honour to be with for the past 52 years.

mom:"alright blow out your candles and make a wish"
kid:"ok, *blows out candles*"
mom:"sorry for your loss"
kid:"mom, what are you talking about?"
mom:"he was a good man"
kid:"mom, are you ok?"
mom:"no.*cries*"
kid:"this family is weird"
mom:"say that to your uncle"
kid:"wait what..."

‘Happy birthday!’
‘Thanks’
‘*sigh* if only he had known he would be in a car accident that day’
‘… what the actual-‘