IN ALL FAIRNESS, INTELLIGENT PEOPLE FIGURED THAT RADICAL ENVIRONMENTAL WHACKOS JUMPED THE SANITY SHARK WHEN THEY BLAMED CLIMATE CHANGE ON COW FARTS. BUT EVIDENTLY IN AN EFFORT TO PROVE THAT THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER SANITY SHARK TO JUMP OVER, CNN WARNS HOW DISCARDED HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS THREATEN EARTH’S FUTURE -- ESPECIALLY PUMPKINS -- SINCE THEY ARE EVENTUALLY HAULED TO A LANDFILL TO ROT AND GENERATE METHANE GAS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE ONLY PUMPKIN-HEADS HARMED IN THIS REPORT WERE CNN 'JOURNALISTS'.
