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155 views 11 upvotes Made by festive_sensoryScorpio 2 years ago in LGBTQ
73 Comments
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mow
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christ alive-
76 notifications as of 6:52 pm
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77 as of 6:58
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100 NOTIFS AT 8:54
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112 at 5:46 am
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AHAHHA
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it's 7:01 am
i have 117 notifs.
wtf
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8:25 am
127 notifs.
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9:30
129 notifs
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131 notifs
9:38 am
SO TEMPTED TO CLEAR IT OUT
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168 NOTIFS!
I'M READING THEM ALL :D
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A
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Boobas
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The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
0 ups, 2y
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
0 ups, 2y
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
0 ups, 2y
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
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Scripts.com
Bee Movie
By Jerry Seinfeld

NARRATOR:
(Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard)
According to all known laws
of aviation,
:
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
:
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
:
The bee, of course, flies anyway
:
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
BARRY BENSON:
(Barry is picking out a shirt)
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
:
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
JANET BENSON:
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
BARRY:
Coming!
:
Hang on a second.
(Barry uses his antenna like a phone)
:
Hello?
ADAM FLAYMAN:

(Through phone)
- Barry?
BARRY:
- Adam?
ADAM:
- Can you believe this is happening?
BARRY:
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
(Barry flies down the stairs)
:
MARTIN BENSON:
Looking sharp.
JANET:
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
BARRY:
Sorry. I'm excited.
MARTIN:
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
:
A perfect report card, all B's.
JANET:
Very proud.
(Rubs Barry's hair)
BARRY=
Ma! I got a thing going here.
JANET:
- You got lint on your fuzz.
BARRY:
- Ow! That's me!

JANET:
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
(Barry flies out the door)
JANET:
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
(Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a
newspaper)
BARRY==
- Hey, Adam.
ADAM:
- Hey, Barry.
(Adam gets in Barry's car)
:
- Is that fuzz gel?
BARRY:
- A little. Special day, graduation.
ADAM:
Never thought I'd make it.
(Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving)
BARRY:
Three days grade school,
three days high school...
ADAM:
Those were awkward.
BARRY:
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
ADAM==
You did come back different.
(Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging)
ARTIE:
- Hi, Barry!

BARRY:
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
ADAM:
- Hear about Frankie?
BARRY:
- Yeah.
ADAM==
- You going to the funeral?
BARRY:
- No, I'm not going to his funeral.
:
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
:
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
ADAM:
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
(The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the
highway)
:
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our regular day.
BARRY:
I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations.
(Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating
students)
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Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
(Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats)
:
- Well, Adam, today we are men.

ADAM:
- We are!
BARRY=
- Bee-men.
=ADAM=
- Amen!
BARRY AND ADAM:
Hallelujah!
(Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm)
ANNOUNCER:
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
:
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
DEAN BUZZWELL:
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
:
...9:
:
That concludes our ceremonies.
:
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
ADAM:
Will we pick our job today?
(Adam and Barry get into a tour bus)
BARRY=
I heard it's just orientation.
(Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically
loaded into the buses)
TOUR GUIDE:
Heads up! Here we go.

ANNOUNCER:
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
BARRY:
- Wonder what it'll be like?
ADAM:
- A little scary.
TOUR GUIDE==
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
:
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
Barry:
This is it!
BARRY AND ADAM:
Wow.
BARRY:
Wow.
(The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive
complicated Honey-making machines)
TOUR GUIDE:
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
:
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
:
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
:
Our top-secret formula
:
is automatically color-corrected,

scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
:
into this soothing sweet syrup
:
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
EVERYONE ON BUS:
Honey!
(The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into
the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back)
ADAM:
- That girl was hot.
BARRY:
- She's my cousin!
ADAM==
- She is?
BARRY:
- Yes, we're all cousins.
ADAM:
- Right. You're right.
TOUR GUIDE:
- At Honex, we constantly strive
:
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
:
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
(The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the
ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but
you can hear him groan)
:
ADAM==

- What do you think he makes?
BARRY:
- Not enough.
TOUR GUIDE:
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
(They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each
wearing a finger-shaped hat)
Barry:
- Wow, What does that do?
TOUR GUIDE:
- Catches that little strand of honey
:
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
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ADAM:
(Intrigued)
Can anyone work on the Krelman?
TOUR GUIDE:
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones.
But bees know that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
:
But choose carefully
:
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
(Everyone claps except for Barry)
BARRY:
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
ADAM:

What's the difference?
TOUR GUIDE:
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
:
in 27 million years.
BARRY:
(Upset)
So you'll just work us to death?
:
We'll sure try.
(Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back
home together)
ADAM:
Wow! That blew my mind!
BARRY:
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
:
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
ADAM:
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
BARRY:
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
ADAM:
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
:
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.

BARRY:
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
ADAM:
Like what? Give me one example.
(Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that
hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect
unison)
BARRY:
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
ANNOUNCER:
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
BARRY:
Wait a second. Check it out.
(The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line)
:
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
ADAM:
- Wow.
:
I've never seen them this close.
BARRY:
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
ADAM:
Yeah, but some don't come back.
GIRL BEES:
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
(The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar
to trucks, which drive away)
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The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.
[deleted] M
0 ups, 2y
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
[deleted] M
0 ups, 2y
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
[deleted] M
0 ups, 2y
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
[deleted] M
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1 reply
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
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Ding
[deleted] M
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The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
[deleted] M
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
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Ding
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I thought you meant tumblr so I got all excited lol
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OAT BISCUITS
-----------------
75g wholemeal flour
1 tsp baking powder
75g porridge oats
50g caster sugar
75g butter
1 tbsp golden syrup
2 tbsp milk

Method
---------
STEP 1
Heat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Line a baking tray with baking parchment.

STEP 2
Sift the flour into a bowl. Mix in the baking powder, porridge oats and sugar.

STEP 3
Melt the butter, syrup and milk in a small saucepan or in the microwave and stir.

STEP 4
Add to the dry ingredients. Mix until the liquid covers all the oat mixture and until well combined.

STEP 5
Spoon onto a baking tray and shape into rounds, leaving space between each biscuit as they will spread whilst cooking.

STEP 6
Bake for 10-15 mins, or until golden brown. Leave to cool for 5 mins before removing from tray.
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Easy traditional christmas cake
-----------------------------------
1 cup (160g) sultanas
1 3/4 cups (280g) currants
1 1/2 cups (225g) raisins, chopped
1/2 cup (85g) mixed peel
1 cup (200g) glacé cherries, chopped
1 cup (250ml) dark rum or apple juice
250g butter, softened
1 cup (220g) brown sugar
4 Coles Brand Australian free range eggs
1 1/2 cups (210g) slivered almonds
3/4 cup (110g) plain flour, sifted
3/4 cup (110g) self-raising flour, sifted
1 tsp MasterFoods mixed spice
1 tsp MasterFoods nutmeg ground
2 tsp MasterFoods cinnamon ground
Icing sugar, to dust

1. Combine sultanas, currants, raisins, mixed peel, glacé cherries and rum in a large bowl. Cover and set aside, stirring occasionally, for 2 days to macerate (allow 2 days for macerating)
2, Preheat oven to 170C. Grease and line a 23cm square (base measurement) cake pan or 25cm round (base measurement) cake pan with 3 layers of baking paper, extending paper 5cm above the rim.
3. Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugar for 5 mins or until pale and creamy. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition.
4. Stir the almonds into the fruit mixture. Add the fruit mixture to the butter mixture with the combined sifted flours and spices. Stir until well combined. Spoon into prepared pan. Bake for 2 hours or until a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean. Remove cake from oven. Wrap the pan in a tea towel and set aside to cool completely. Turn cake out of pan and dust with icing sugar to serve.
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Cream cheese apple cake
-----------------------------
125g butter, at room temperature
100g (1/2 cup) caster sugar, plus extra 3 tsp for sprinkling
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
225g (1 1/2 cups) self-raising flour
75g (1/2 cup) plain flour
160ml (2/3 cup) milk
410g can Coles pink lady apples slices, drained, roughly chopped
410g can Coles pink lady apples slices, drained, roughly chopped
Filling
250g cream cheese, chopped, at room temperature
70g (1/3 cup) caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 180C/160C fan forced. Grease a 22cm (base) springform pan and line the base with baking paper.
2. To make the filling, use electric beaters to beat the cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Set aside.
3. Use clean beaters to beat the butter and sugar until pale and creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla. Sift the flours together. Fold in half the flour mixture, then half the milk. Fold through remaining flour mixture and remaining milk. Spoon 2/3 of the batter into the pan and smooth the surface.
4. Dollop the cream cheese mixture over the batter and use the back of a spoon to spread into an even layer. Top with the apple. Spoon the remaining batter on top and spread out evenly. Sprinkle with combined extra caster sugar and cinnamon.
5. Bake cake for 40 minutes or until risen and golden brown. Set aside in pan for 15 minutes. Turn onto a wire rack to cool. Serve.
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Cheat’s microwave bread and butter puddings
---------------------------------------------------
4 slices Coles Finest by Laurent White Vienna Sourdough, cut into cubes
2 Coles Eggs
125ml (1/2 cup) Coles Full Cream Milk
55g (1/4 cup) Coles Caster Sugar
1 tsp Coles Bake & Create Vanilla Extract
1/4 tsp Coles Cinnamon Ground
50g Coles Unsalted Butter, melted
Coles Finest Pure Canadian Maple Syrup, to serve
Coles Cinnamon Sugar, to serve

1. Grease two 250ml (1 cup) microwave-safe mugs with butter. Divide the bread between the prepared mugs. Use a fork to whisk eggs, milk, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon and melted butter together in a jug.
2. Divide the milk mixture between the mugs (do not stir). Set aside for 2 minutes to soak.
3. Microwave on High/1000watts/100% for 3-4 minutes or until puffed and cooked through. Set aside for 1 minute to rest. Drizzle with maple syrup and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Serve.
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Butter cake
-------------
250g Devondale Unsalted Butter, softened
1 cup caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla essence
3 eggs
2 1/2 cups self-raising flour
2/3 cup milk

1. Preheat oven to 180°C/160°C fan-forced. Grease and line an 8cm-deep, 19cm (base) square cake pan with baking paper.
2. Using an electric mixer, cream butter, caster sugar and vanilla in a medium bowl on medium-high speed until light and fluffy.
3. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating to combine. Add half the flour. Stir to combine. Add half the milk. Stir to combine. Repeat with remaining flour and milk.
4. Spread mixture into prepared pan. Bake for 1 hour or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Stand in pan for 10 minutes. Turn out onto a wire rack to cool. Dust with icing sugar. Serve.
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Milk slice
-----------
250g Butternut Snap biscuits
125g butter, melted
1 cup milk
3 tsp vanilla essence
5 tsp gelatine
300g sour cream
1/2 cup caster sugar
300ml thickened cream, whipped

1. Line an 18cm x 27cm slice tin with baking paper.
2. In a food processor, crush biscuits into a fine crumb. Alternatively, place biscuits in a large zip-lock bag and bash with a rolling pin. Add butter and combine well. Press into the base of the prepared slice tin.
3. Combine milk and vanilla in a small saucepan. Sprinkle over gelatine. Whisk over a gentle heat for 1-2 minutes until gelatine has dissolved, being sure not to let it boil. Remove from heat and allow to cool.
4. In a large bowl, whisk together sour cream and sugar. Fold through whipped cream. Slowly add cooled milk mixture and whisk until well combined. 5. Pour over biscuit base in slice tin. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes until mousse has set.
6. Slice into squares and serve.
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Nan's skillet pan apple pie
-----------------------------
1.4 kg Granny Smith apples
1/2 cup caster sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Zest of 1 orange
50g butter
1 egg white
raw sugar, for sprinkling
(PASTRY)
50g butter, cubed
3/4 cup self-raising flour
1 tbs caster sugar
1 egg yolk

1. Preheat oven to 180C. Peel and core apples, and cut into about 8 wedges each. Toss with sugar, cinnamon and orange zest in a bowl. Leave for 10 minutes to macerate.
2. For the pastry, rub the butter into the flour until it resembles breadcrumbs. Mix through the sugar and egg yolk, then add 1 tbsp iced water and bring together to form a ball. Add a little more water if necessary. Knead lightly then form into a flat disc, wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
3. Melt butter in a 26cm skillet pan. Add apples and cook, stirring, for five minutes until apples are just starting to soften. Remove from heat.
4. Roll out pastry to form a circle big enough to cover the pan. Drape over the apples in the pan, tucking under the edges. Brush with egg white and sprinkle with raw sugar. Bake for 40 minutes until pastry is golden and apples are soft.
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LEMON CUSTARD MAGIC CAKE
------------------------------------
4 eggs separated
1 cup icing sugar mixture
1 tbs lemon rind, finely grated
1/4 cup lemon juice
3/4 cup plain flour
125g butter, cooled, melted
400 ml milk slightly warmed
2 tbs caster sugar
1 pinch icing sugar mixture *extra for dusting*

Method
1. Preheat the oven to 180C/160C fan-forced. Grease a 20cm square cake pan and line with baking paper, allowing it to overhang on all sides.

2. Using electric beaters, beat egg yolks and icing sugar in a large bowl until pale and thick. Beat in lemon rind and juice until combined. Beat in flour until combined. Pour in butter and beat until combined. Gradually add milk and beat until well combined.
3. Fold a third of the egg white into the flour mixture. Repeat in two more batches until just combined (you may have a few lumps). Pour into prepared pan.
4. Bake for 50-55 minutes or until the cake is set, but wobbles slightly. Set aside in the pan to cool completely. Carefully cut into slices and serve dusted with extra icing sugar.

The cake must be completely cooled before removing from the pan as it is very fragile when still warm.
Lemon can be replaced with lime or orange rind and juice, if you prefer.
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