I tried offering him money... THEN HE ASKED FOR THEIR SOULS! ?

How about, the address of all important government buildings in the world, and I get to uninstall you.

I shall no longer have to pay 1/4 of the taxes. Brothers, I'll have you know, this gentleman is lucky. It is opposite day... Which means it's easier done than said...
(this is just a joke, so if the IRS sees this, please don't nuke my house. I'll still pay 1/4 of the taxes)

I'd give duolingo my brother anyway

damn, bro. That got dark quickly.