1. Use a gun to shoot the lobster.
2. If it's still alive and kicking, shoot it again.
3. Continue shooting it until it is fully dead.
4. Take the bullets out of lobster.
5. Wash the lobster to ensure that its blood doesn't keep on dripping and to wash out any dirt from the bullets.
6. Put it into a pot of water.
7. Turn on the cooking hob to 140 degrees.
8. Wait for at least 10-15 minutes.
9. Once the time is up, turn the cooking hob off and put the boiled lobster outside.
(Extra and VITAL note: NEVER DO THIS BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT IT IS INHUMANE!)