i'm bored

*throws 120,000,000 rubber ducks at you*

uh

i threw 120 million rubber ducks at you all at once, so how are you not dead?

because they rubber ducks

but they cover you and suffocate you, right?

no

Zachary: WHAT THE F**K

the quack invasion.

Zachary: a

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

W87 Warhead

*deflects it with duck shield*

its a nuke

i understand that.

w h a t

by the way, how are you still alive?

u are this guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9dpsYliYrE

A literal f**king impact incendiary grenade

A literal f**king GAU-19 firing 2000 Bullets a minute

X nukes him.

bruh

I throw this at you

Zachary: Are you serious?

bob: HERE, A PEICE OF SHT

Zachary fires 5000 rounds at you with his GAU-19

bob: oh, well then here have all your bullets back

Head Cult Leader C: “You there! I challenge you… To a battle!”

Zachary: You sure?

Head Cult Leader C: “Quite.”

Zachary would pull out a GAU-19 machine gun

Zachary: Are you still sure?

Head Cult Leader C, surrounding himself in indigo fire: “Yup.”

Zachary revs up his minigun

Zachary: Last chance

Head Cult Leader C, summoning a ring of strange cat-head shaped energy orbs above him: “Likewise.”

He fires the minigun, making thousands of holes in the Cult Leader

*all of the bullets are incinerated by the fire*

Zachary keeps firing

Head Cult Leader C: “Hehe, puny mortal.”

Zachary stops firing

Zachary: Ehhhhh . . . I'll . . . think about it

Head Cult Leader C: “You could join my weird cat cult. We do all sorts of magic grap there.”

Zachary: I'll have to think about it, do you have a card?

Head Cult Leader C: “That’s a great question, I’m glad you asked. I know some other people who could give you some form of arcane abilities, if you’d like.”

Zachary: I meant like a business card

Head Cult Leader C: “Yeah. No. Well, I could make one. Gimme a sec.” *vanishes in a flash of purple light*

Zachary reloads his minigun

*a minute layer, Head Cult Leader C reappears*

Zachary: Hi

Head Cult Leader C: “Salutations. I have a card.”

Zachary: k

*he hands you a small paper card, with the words ‘Cat Scratch Voodoo Doll No Birb Sacrifices Cult: Join Today!’ scrawled on*

Zachary: Hmmmmm . . .

Head Cult Leader C: “Yes?”

Zachary: Got it

He would put the card in his pocket

Zachary: I gotta get going

Head Cult Leader C: “Farewell, then. Consider joining.”

Zachary: Bye

Zachary: BRUTE F**KIN FORCE

The bullets somehow hit the Cult Leader

Head Cult Leader C: “Wow, you’re pretty strong for a human.”

Zachary: Its called brute forcin it till it works!

Head Cult Leader C: “I would greatly appreciate it if you could stop ruining my nice Cat Scratch Arcane Thaumaturgic Eldritch Super Neko Voodoo Robe With Limited Edition Bell, and try a different strategy.”

Zachary: Why?

Head Cult Leader C: “I like this robe and don’t want holes in it. Also, don’t you think guns are a little unimaginative?”

Zachary: I'm from the military, what the hell do you expect?

Head Cult Leader C: “I don’t know, I don’t hang around Earth much. Don’t you think you would benefit from learning some form of magic, maybe?”

Zachary: Don't know how to

Head Cult Leader C: “Well, to you I offer my assistance.”