Here's a title that isn't lazy

What? Suddenly it's wrong to eat a chipmunk while another chipmunk watches on in horror? You hipsters and your morals.

he meant you only ate chip but you let dale escape?

Yes exactly, why not eat both?

use their spine as a toothpick

What? Suddenly it's wrong to make one live with the trauma of watching the other get eaten? Back in my day we were all horrible people.

I needed a traumatized witness.

we ALL still are horrible people