The kind you don't take home to Mother

Before the haters start, they call themselves queer..

"For more than 40 years, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, an order of queer and transgender nuns, have pursued their mission to “to promulgate universal joy and to expiate stigmatic guilt”."

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/30/an-order-of-queer-and-trans-nuns-in-san-francisco-take-on-an-unholy-year

It's like the word n***ga. It's a slur when white people say it, even if they're singing along with Little Wayne
.
Queer is insulting when straight people say it.