Disaster is the best distraction from despair

I HAVE A MUCH EASIER TIME ENGAGING WITH DISASTER THAN WITH SUCCESS. DISASTER IS THE ONLY TIME WHEN MY PERPETUAL ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION DON'T FEEL MISPLACED; THERE'S A GREAT COMFORT IN FINDING AGREEMENT BETWEEN MY INNER AND OUTER WORLDS, EVEN IF THAT AGREEMENT IS THAT THINGS HAVE COMPLETELY GONE TO SHIT