Conservative Party collects the best & brightest patriot-influencers to weigh in on the ABRUPT & SHAMEFUL firing of Mr. Carlson

Andrew Torba speaks! I feel like the Chief Gabber himself can do better than this (no doubt he’ll have more to say on it later), but as an instant reaction it is pretty decent.

I mean, I don’t agree at all, I think Carlson is a noxious presence in the media landscape, an avatar of the worst aspects of Republican thought in re: white supremacy and isolationism and conspiricizing. I won’t miss him at all, but in the MAGAverse, this statement is very coherent.

Rating: 5/10

Paul Gosar tweeted (or Gabbed, or whatever) an uncaptioned photo of Carlson and Trump. To what end? It just looks like he fired up Google Images and posted the first thing he saw. Communicates cryptic support for both Tucker and 45, which is useful for a Republican congressman I guess, but why? Where’s the value-add?

Rating: 2/10

You have to be literally hanging off the right edge of the political compass to conclude that Tucker Carlson of all people is anti-white. Some homophobia thrown in for kicks. Yeah this one ain’t it.

Rating: 0/10

Stock prices! Oh boy! Always a fun data point to reach for. Gives your opinion the veneer of objectivity. But it’s also a pretty lazy take.

Problem with this kind of analysis is, short-term fluctuations in stock price in response to recent news items don’t mean a whole lot. We’ll have to check back in 6 months to a year to truly gauge the impact of Fox’s decision. And in the digital age, who has time to do that? So I get it, but still, lazy.

Rating: 4/10

I mean… okay. It’s clearly an honest reaction. Buddy it’s your truth and you gotta live it.

But… tbh, bro, Fox is just going to serve you up a new conspiracist in a suit to hold down the 8 p.m. evening slot, and you’ll be back, and you’re gonna love it.

Rating: 3/10

Simple, bold, caps for emphasis (GREAT!), captioning a photo with Mr. Carlson himself for a personal touch but it comes off as a bit thirsty. For a couple of viciously persecuted guys, they don’t seem particularly distressed.

Rating: 5/10

I have already rated a couple other hot takes as zeroes, but this flaming pile of steaming Neo-Nazi garbage manages to out-do even those two in the brain-dead department, so I must regretfully assign this one my first negative rating.

Rating: -2/10

I like this one. It’s short, to the point, links Fox’s press release itself (factual!), and the reaction is kept to a simple “wow” without trying to spin or sell you something. “Wow” is surely the instant reaction everyone had to this news. Relatable. It really doesn’t get any better than this.

Rating: 10/10

Mr. Morpheus MAGA re-Gabbed(?) a Lauren Boebert tweet. Apart from Boebert’s transparently absurd contention that “America will follow” Tucker to the ends of the earth (lol), there’s nothing too offensive in here. Meh, fine as a barometer of average MAGA sentiment about this.

Rating: 4/10

This one links together a bunch of recent dismissals and suggests they might be connected somehow. I don’t think the gesture toward a behind-the-scenes conspiracy has any legs necessarily, but it’s not too oversold, and without necessarily fact checking all of this, the info appears legit. Not bad.

Rating: 7/10

I… like this one. Wholesome. Heartfelt. And yeah it’s a bit of a self-plug but doesn’t really come off that way. Liberals owe it to themselves to consider how Tucker may have from time to time used his platform to do good work.

Rating: 10/10

This one… ugh, that font is needless, and this post just drags on and on and doesn’t even fit on one screencap and I refuse to do more than one. You get the idea. “The jab,” blah blah blah. I seriously doubt Fox News has had a sudden change of heart about pumping out Covid disinformation (despite the fact this kind of anti-coverage actually killed people, I’m not aware of any lawsuits pending against Fox News for anti-vaxx propaganda, nor am I aware that any such lawsuits ever could be brought on the Covid topic generally).

Bro, at this point no one is really trying to get you to take the vaccine. That ship has sailed. Get it if you want, or don’t. Though Covid continues to circulate, we’re well past the acute danger zone as a society and mostly just happy we didn’t die of Covid.

Rating: 1/10

“YUUUUUUGE”? LOL does this guy just digitally cosplay as Trump? I mean, this adds nothing of substance, but it brings a much-needed touch of genuine humor to the mix.

Rating: 6/10

The parenthesis thing is anti-Semitic code, and the notion Fox (major, publicly-traded media company) doesn’t care about profits is totally absurd. This take is hot garbage.

Rating: 0/10

P good meme bro! The Bud Light (Dylan Mulvaney! trans crap! went woke!)-Fox News comparison is timely, but it has also been made a million times already. Is this the best meme in this wheelhouse? Probably not.

Also: How long do these right-wing boycotts last anyway? A countless number of companies and brands have been #cancelled by the Right in the past few years. Sure, stock prices can fluctuate a lot in response to bad (or good) news, but have any such boycotted companies/brands actually suffered meaningfully in the long term? Does the RWNJ outrage machine’s attention span last longer than a few nanoseconds?

Stay tuned! Or in this case, don’t stay tuned, I guess. You could always watch the talentless hacks at Newsmax instead, or better yet, watch paint dry.

Rating: 6/10

That is a heckin’ cringeworthy photo of young Tucker. Amusing. But… this is supposed to be a *pro*-Tucker take? So I’m confused.

Also, it posits that Carlson’s dismissal from Fox was his own decision, which is highly dubious. But who knows? On the socials, reality can be whatever you want.

Rating: 9/10 (extra credit for throwback photo)

This one is a two-fer.

Top one: Cryptic at first, you read it and you’re like “huh?” but I guess it’s making the point that Fox News is capable of firing white people too. Which: Fair! This dismissal by Fox very likely was not discriminatory! (…and…?)

Rating: 5/10

Bottom one: OH GOD IT’S MIKE FLYNN. Hard to believe *this* is the guy QAnon thought was (still thinks is?) going to topple the U.S. government and save everyone from the “pedophiles.”

This Bud Light vs. Fox thing is just a recycled joke at this point and isn’t even well done. Clearly his social media skills just aren’t all there at all. I guess instead of mastering the socials Flynn’s been too busy… studying how to wage a guerrilla war for independence with ragtag bands of patriots like George Washington?

Rating: 1/10