POINT/COUNTERPOINT: What is Tucker Carlson talking about today?

The DA is funded by Soros

Yeah same

COLOR KEY

1. Red: “It means nothing!”
—Downplays the significance of the indictment: The charges are a nothingburger, even if true. Maybe! Downside: This does the opposite of fire people up for Trump. If it doesn’t matter, then why should I care?

2. Blue: “It means totalitarianism!”
—Upsells the indictment of an ex-reality TV star regarding hush money for a porn star affair as somehow the culmination of a century-long Leftist plot to install communism in America. Downside: Only comprehensible to the already-initiated tinfoil hats.

3. Orange: “Biden should pardon!”
—An appeal to the better angels of the President’s nature. Downsides: The gall of Trump supporters for demanding unity on this whilst calling for division every other waking second. Also: A federal presidential pardon for a New York State crime is not possible as a matter of law.

4. Light blue: “It was the lawyer!”
—Classic pass-the-buck move for supporters of a guy who’s made a whole-ass career out of stepping over fall guys. Downsides: It focuses the conversation upon the facts of what actually happened, which aren’t good. Also: the ongoing MAGA blame-game designed to excuse Trump’s failures is getting ridiculous at this point.

5. Yellow: “They’re provoking us!”
—A not-so-veiled threat, a call to arms to the “militia” types who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6. Downsides: All signs are showing the membership of this ultra-MAGA insurrectionist sect have dwindled, not increased, since Jan. 6, 2021. Indeed, a lot of them are now in prison. “MAGA uprising” is looking like a paper tiger, but stay tuned!

6. Pink: “The system is so unfair!”
—This is laughable, but no joke, Tucker Carlson had Rod Blagojevich (disgraced former Illinois governor, poster child of an actually-corrupt Democrat, sentenced to prison, famously pardoned by Trump) on his show to rant about how the legal system is so unfair for politically well-connected multimillionaires like himself (and now, Trump). Downsides: Hard to see how any non-MAGA American with a pulse and brainwave activity would buy this.

(Cont.)

7. Brown: “Politicians should be above the law.”
—When they’re not calling for Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Hunter Biden, and every other Democrat in the country to be locked up, Republicans like to suggest that this indictment against Trump must be motivated purely by politics and that (Republican) candidates for office should be effectively immune from law and subject only to the judgment of the voters. Downsides: Pull up a chair, young one, and let me sing you the saga of John Edwards.

8. Teal: “The D.A. is funded by Soros!”
—Shorthand for any and all conspiracies or allegations of self-interested conduct by the Manhattan District attorney, Alvin Bragg. Downsides: Those with a passing familiarity of how indictments work know that a grand jury composed of average Americans would have had to sign off on this indictment, which is a part of the process designed as a check for exactly the notion of a prosecutor-gone-rogue. Also: The MAGA ad hominem game is well-known at this point.

9. Yellow-green: “But… but… Bill Clinton!”
—Indeed, much like Trump, Clinton faced allegations of sexual impropriety which led in Clinton’s case to an impeachment (Trump was himself impeached, twice, over much more serious conduct in office). Downsides: This is 25-year-old spent ammunition, and Clinton only benefits from the comparison to Trump.

10. Gray: “Trump is Nelson Mandela!”
—This is *snort* okay, I can barely type that with a straight face, but in their more unguarded moments, MAGA folks will confess that this Manhattan billionaire playboy is on a divine mission from God to redeem the soul of America. Downsides: The cultism is real.

11. Black: “Have you seen his poll numbers lately?”
—In times like these, Republicans love to trot out a poll showing Trump miraculously continues to enjoy the support of anywhere between 45-55% of Americans (although query any poll leaning toward that top figure). Downsides: It does not shock anyone to be reminded that the reality denial force-field remains strong with many Trump cultists. This is more a cause for depression than a serious rebuttal argument. It also reveals that MAGA types are themselves incapable of seeing justice in anything but political terms.

And there you have it: 11 of the main pro-Trump talking-points you’re likely to have seen on Tucker Carlson or Newsmax last night or on any given night going forward. 11 is a lot, but there will be more. Oh lawd ‘a mercy, yes there will. Can’t wait!