Q: Why did you kidnap "Taylor Swift"?
A: It's simple. We saw a business opportunity, and we took it. Same as anybody else. By the way, kidnapping was legal at the time we did it. Well, not "legal," technically speaking, but it hadn't been banned yet. Some critics would say the kidnapping laws were then changed in direct response to what we did. Well, in that case, we're proud we identified a hole in the system and the authorities acted promptly to correct it.
We did all this for *you,* our customers, by the way, so that *you* could have a functional banking system. So instead of saying we did something wrong, why don't you show some gratitude and appreciation? By the way - a lot of people are saying that "Taylor Swift" isn't even real. There's a lot of evidence for that, which you'll readily find in this stream by searching the meme tag "psy-op." So if she's not even real, then it's no harm, no foul, right? There are a lot of reasons why this whole thing is a nothingburger and I wish people would just stop talking about it. If you want to dwell on our past, then you don't deserve to be a part of our future.
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