This tunnel must be extremely long. Funny thing is a song was the whole reason I broke. One song made me regret everything, break down into tears, confess my feelings, and try to fix everything.
UPDATE:
1. THE FRIEND THAT IGNORED MY MESSAGES IN THE GROUP CHAT ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE THE MESSAGE.
2. I REACHED OUT TO ONE OF THE FRIENDS I LOST ASKING IF WE COULD FIX THIS. HE SAID HE THINKS WE CAN'T MAKE A MATURE DECISION RIGHT NOW AND TO WAIT UNTIL JUNE.
3. THE FRIEND THAT SAID HE DIDN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT MY MENTAL STATE BECAUSE IT'S NOT HIS PROBLEM SEEMS TO CARE MORE THAN HE'S LETTING ON.
4. I MADE A NEW FRIEND, THAT'S FEMALE. IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M ON A STREAK FOR HAVING MY FRIENDSHIP WITH FEMALES END HORRIBLY. BETTER THAN YESTERDAY, BUT NOT GOOD