random HC (head cannon)

ok, we've got AI generation of Izuru Kamakura, the Ultimate Maid

*hides in corner* he's never taking my role of ultimate video game novelist!

Junko: Kamakura~

Your turn~

Kamakura: you'll never take me alive-
Monaca: how about asleep?
Kamakura: wth do you mean, how about asleep- . . . did- did you just try to hit me with a sedative?

GOOD JOB MONACA! do it again-

*Monaca shoots more darts at Kamakura, who dodges every one*
kamakura: It's not going to work becau- *he slumps forward as Junko stands behind him, dart in hand*

GOOD JOB BAE!

Junko: yass queen! now, let's yassify Kamakura and make him a Yass queen

Yes! let's go!

Btw, Rei, Junko may be my new fav mastermind

Reiko: no offense taken, but Monaca'll forever be my baby

well duh, we freaking love her!

Say, wanna join us? were making Kamakura look like a gurl boss-

Reiko: sure!
~Not even 5 minutes later~
Junko: *snickering* Kamakura, Kamakura, Yass Queen!
Monaca: Zaza? Can Monaca ask you for a teensy, weensy little favor?
Kamari: sure, what is it?
Monaca: can you put Kamakura in a dress?

PFFT, HE'S SO PRETTY!

Junko: *despair squealing noises* Kamakuraaaaaaa!
Kamakura: *waking up from the druggies* hm, wha? what happ- JUNKO!

Kamakura is a "MaTiRiAl GuRl" now

Junko: Yas Queen!
Kamakura: I am going to MURDER you
Junko: Chill, I wasn't the one who dressed you!
Kamakura: *looks down before looking back up, cheeks tinted pink* who the hell did this
Reiko: Mari!
Kamakura: -_- who tf is-
Kamari: um, me?

*pulls out phone* you hurt zaza, or any of us, you will wish you haven't! i'll take a photo of you and send it to Nagito!

Kamakura: Don't. you. Dare.
Monaca: who's Nagito? ;-;
Kamakura, Junko, Reiko: the Servant
Monaca: oh!
Nagito: you called- oh . . . what's happening he-
Kamakura: get out! out!

No, no, don't leave! isn't he Pretty!?

Nagito: You look beautiful Izu-
Kamakura: OUT! NOW!

NO, STAY!!

*Kamari lets out a squeak and covers his face, giggling a little*

Aww, are you blushing?~

Kamari: *strangled* n-no!

aww, you are!~

Kamari: nononono! I'm not!

l i a r < 3

Kamari: not! blushing!

mhm, sure... Reiko, Junko, do ya'll have any dresses left?! i wanna wear one

Kamakura: -_- how tf would that benifit me?

... you get ladies, i picked up Reiko with it-

Junko: do I ever! *looks at Reiko* get the wardrobe
Reiko: Yes ma'am! *she runs off screen and comes back with a large wardrobe on wheels*
Junko: knock yourself out!

H e h e

Nagito: Izuru, it's ok, I'm not going to tell!

*goes over and whispers in his ear* we dressed him up for you~

Nagito: really? you did this for a worthless nobody like me?! Ow! *Kamakura smacks him in the back of the head*
Kamakura: stop it. we don't say we're worthless nobodies
Nagito: well I sure hope you don't! you all are wonderful symbols to the world-
Kamakura: shut up

*Takes a photo*
Thank me when your married-

*Junko, Reiko, and Monaca dying of laughter as Kamari tries to sneak away*

*grabs Zaza* your turn for a dress!

Kamakura: yes. revenge
Kamari: what?! But- But I don't- I didn't- hey!

*Takes alot of photos, plus a nosebleed* don't worry rei, i'm sending some to you-

Junko: They're tricking you!
Kamakura: *obviously lying* I'm the ultimate lie detector, and they're not tricking you
Monaca: really?! oki doki!

*pulls out hair brush* first, were brushing that hair-

Reiko: thank you Ray, hehe
Kamari: c-cmon guys! this is embarassing!
Kamakura: *sitting in a chair, one leg over the other with a satisfied look on his face* karma

Come on Zaza~ you look so cute!
And ya'll can try to get revenge on me, but only one thing could make me blush if i wore it-

Kamari and Kamakura: what is it?

a maid dress- nO WAIT-

*Kamari and Kamakura look at eachother and look back*
Kamari: ok
Kamakura: . . . I kindof want to go extrimest rn and start a bonfire of maid dresses
Nagito: fire?!
Kamakura: on second thought, maybe no

*sigh of relife* there not going to force me to wear one, like i forced them- phew-

*Junko hisses, but Monaca goes over and takes Junko's hands*
Monaca: pretty please? will you do it for Monaca?

Please, i'm not going to do anything to bad!

Kamakura: don't stoop to your enemy's level

enemy? just for dressing you up and getting your to-be husband?!

Kamakura: -_- you've never heard that expression before?

I HAVE, BUT I'M NOT ANYONE'S ENEMY *sniff* right?

Junko: *sighs* fineeeeeeeee

now, time to lose the pigtails-

Junko: ah sh1t

i can't brush your your hair if it's in p i g t a i l s

Kamari: ofc you're not!

*starts crying* thank you Zaza, now i need to go stop crying-

Kamakura: -_- no, I'm too gay for that

i mean, i'm gay too, but it works on guys too, it just w o r k s

Monaca: no crying!

i'm trying, maybe if i smack myself, that seems to work-

Kamaura: *grabbing Ray's hand before they smack themself* no, we're not hitting ourselves. I go through the same thing with Nagito almost everyday

but if i don't then i'm gonna start ugly-crying!

(omfg, i'm like nagito in more ways than i knew-)

Kamakura: -_- no. slapping. yourself. find something else to do instead
Junko: yeah, don't be Makoto

Something else to do, hmm *looks at zaza* i can do that-

Kamakura: hm . . . . . . . . . . sure, idt it'll work on . . . . . . . . . the person in mind

nagito?-

please don't kill me if i'm wrong-

Junko: no! *hiss-screech-thing*
Monaca: Big Sis Junko?!

don't mind here baby, she's getting a hair cut

Monaca: Big sis is getting a hair cut?
Junko: no, I'm being harassed!
Kamakura: ;-; since when have you owned the child?

for a while, now monaca,sweetie, hold down junko please!

Monaca: why?
Junko: Monaca, please don't

because i want to make her look better than ever!

Monaca: can I help make Big Sis look pretty?!

OFC! SHE'LL BE SO "PRETTY"!

Kamari: ;-; huh?

What? they said do something, and your standing here-

Kamari: no, I don't get it. wdym, do me?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

*Kamakura blinks and says nothing. it's a silence that says-*
Junko: NAGITO?! For realsys?!

*pulls out the b a b y s i t t i n g bag from the MHA rp* oh hey junko!

Junko: *one look and smiles* a despair bag?!
Kamakura: no, It's a mess up your hair bag
Junko: omg, No!

*pulls out a blue hair brush and hair ties* oh junko~

*Junko bolts away. Kamakura blinks at the scene and sits down*
Junko: Do Kamakura's hair or something!

b u t i w a n t t o d o y o u r s

(I don't get it, and I'm too scared to look it up on my school computer)

*giggling* i'm just playing with you Zaza! *whispers in his ears* i'd still play with you anytime ;D

(oh your pure, innocent soul)

Junko: UGGHHHHHH FINE! *she takes her hair out*

*starts brushing softly* sorry if it pulls, i'm trying not to-

Junko: ugh, ig it's okkkkkkkk
Monaca: pretty big sis! big sis pretty!

Yes! pretty junko!

Kamakura: beautiful
Junko: really Kamakura?! you really think so?
Kamakura: -_- Junko, you are the queen of sarcasm
Junko: but you're the ultimate sarcastic queen!
Kamakura: >:0 you little shi-

*actually making junko's hair look good* andddddd, there! done!

Junko: Kamakura! Be honest, is it ugly?
Kamakura: *blinks and shakes his head* you look . . . like you, but with decency

See? i'm good at this! you should trust me on this-

Kamari: ;-; huh?
Kamakura: you don't want to know . . . like you really don't want to know . . .

*laughs in a toko way*
oh, i forgot i can do that-

Komaru: Toko?! wait, nope, this is the antag room, ok, bye!
Monaca: Komaru Naegi! Wait!
Komaru: MONACA?! I thought you were dead!
Monaca: you left me to die with Ms. Toko. but servent came back and saved me!

:/ i just laughed-

Komaru: Um, r-right, cause you definitely didn't try to kill me and Toko *looks at Kamari* oh! Kamari, Makoto and Shuichi were wondering if you knew where Hajims was
Kamari: um, n-nope!

i smell b u l l s h 1 t

*Kamakura looks away and Junko snickers. Komaru looks over and does a double take*
Komaru: Junko?! I thought you were dead!
Junko: Komaru! So nice to finally meet you in person! How is that little son of a b1tch Makoto?
Komaru: you . . . you take that BACK! *brings out her Megaphone*

Junko, be nice. tho i also never met Matoko's sister, so hello miss naegi!

Junko: hmmmmmm, alright then

you can do mine, if you want to

(# bonding with the mastermind)

(lol)
Junko: yes! and then we're doing Kamakura

All right *sits in front of junko*

Junko: >:C it's to short!
Teruteru: *out of nowhere* that's what she said

*throws extra hair brush at him* You can dye it, it needs to be re-dyed!

*Kamakuar stands up and throws Teruteru out of the room, muttering something*
Junko: ooh~ ok! *half white, half black with red streaks* Ta-Da! gah! you look so gourgous!

(now when i dye my hair, i'm going to do that. i'ma be like melanie martinez!)
OMG JUNKO IT'S AMAZING!! TY!
(that's it, junko is my bestie now-)

Komaru: oh hi
Monaca: *looking at Ray* daddy? Can I have a hug?

:O COME HERE BABY!!

Komaru: Byakuya? I know him! He's kinda intimidating, to be honest

oh, not when i'm around-

Komaru: really? Idt that's possible anymore

oh really, hmm, OI! TOGAMI!! GET YOUR A$$ OVER HERE!

Byakuya: s-simp?! I am Byakuya Togami, I am NOT a simp for mister unlucky bad hair day! *Kamakura snickers a bit* and what’s so funny?
Kamakura: nothing, you just remind me of that meme that goes “listen here; I don’t like you. I am not going to bark at you. Woof woof bark bark”

*falls backwards laughing*
AND TO THINK I USED TO HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU! pfft- *insert a toko laugh, because i tend to do those irl-*

*Byakuya looks flat out EMBARRASSED. He can’t think of anything to say to that. Monaca, Nagito, and Junko are dying in the corner as Kamakura just smirks the tiniest bit*
Kamakura: Komaru, that’s your name right?
Komaru: yes?
Kamakura: I have a challenge for you, and it’s going to be you vs a small child
Komaru: ooh! What’s the challenge?What’s the prize?
Kamakura: offend Byakuya better than the kid and I’ll tell you where Hajime is

*Flips back up, but falls back down because my legs s u c k*
I WANT TO JOIN THIS! I WANNA OFFEND TOGAMI!

Komaru: 0_0 what?
Kamari: Reiko, Ray, and I are Monaca's parents, along with Nagito and Kamakura helping

*Hugging monaca* Mhm, mhm!

Komaru: *muttering* oh my god . . . how psychotic are you 5?
Reiko: ooh, ok, um, *Points to herself* Mastermind, *points to Ray* Antag, and Protag *points to Kamari, who waves*

Raymond: used to be byakuya's side help as well-

Komaru: ok sure!
Kamakura: -_- I don’t have a prize for you if you win Ray

I don't care, i just want to make his life h-e- double hocky sticks!

Kamakura: -_- ok then. participants, stand- or sit, here
Komaru: 0_0 wdym, or sit?
Monaca: Hello Ms. Komaru Naegi, you fat b1tch
Reiko: MONACA! NOT NICE!
Monaca: I'm sorry Mummy!
Reiko: it's ok, but don't say that again
Byakuya: hey, I didn't agree to this-
Kamakura: ok Komaru, you go
Komaru: oh! um, *she looks at Byakuya* how does it feel to know that Toko was tracking you down by your BO?
Byakuya: that gross b1tch! disgusting
Komaru: Hey! Don't call Toko a b1tch!

i didn't relize that i also had to hold back on beating the sh1t out oh him as well-

Kamakura: don't scar him too much Ray

i'm trying not too, but it's a bit hard-

Kamakura: you wanna go now, or should we let Monaca?

let monaca, i wanna see how she does-

Byakuya: what now?

Watch your attitude- or you know what i'll do- *points to the babysitting bag* you remeber last time-

Byakuya: yes, yes, I remember I remember! no need to remind
Komaru: no way . . . he's scared of you?!
Byakuya: Naegi, get out! this is the antag room, I belive

she's aloud in here

Byakuya: hmph, fine, but Makoto is not. for his sake *looks at Kamakura and Nagito*

Raymond: Your a simp for naegi~

Monaca: Mr. Upgrade Draco Malfoy *Byakuya glares and opens his mouth, stopping when Monaca starts crying* wh-why do you h-hate Monaca s-so much?
Byakuya: when did I say that?!
Monaca: you, you were going to Yell at Monaca, right?

*pulls out a bat* Watch yourself, you freaking Draco malfoy furry-

Kamakura: ;-; I'm going to have to say, Monaca won . . . holy sh1t
Junko: Yass Queen! I knew you could do it! *Monaca smiles and giggles as Junko picks her up and spins her around* you are a despair

*Grabs monaca* no, my child will not be a despair, she'll be an antag, like yours truly-

Reiko: AHEM! Despair-antag here!
Junko: oh yeah! the living compromise!

Hmm, i guess it works-

Monaca: yay! I get to be all!
Kamari: b-but, what about me?
Monaca: hm, you're too nice . . . Kee-Bo! Oni-Chan Kee-Bo!
Kamari: oh wait! I do have Kee-Bo! yes!

I mean, Kee-bo does have this. *Plays with Zaza's hair ahoge*