ON THE MORNING OF THE DAY OF THE APOCALYPSE
WILLY WOKE UP AND MADE HIMSELF BACON AND EGGS AND RYE TOAST
HE DID USUALLY EAT BACON, BUT SINCE TODAY WAS SUCH A SPECIAL DAY
HE FIGURED WHY NOT
LIKE MOST PEOPLE THESE DAYS, HE HAD TROUBLE KEEPING HIS FOOD DOWN
BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP WILLY FROM EATING
HE ENJOYED FOOD TOO MUCH
WILLY WENT OUTSIDE
HE LOVED TO BREATHE FRESH AIR, BUT HE WENT OUTSIDE ANYWAY
HE DECIDED TO HEAD ACROSS THE STREET AND VISIT HIS GOOD FRIEND BOB
WHEN WILLY GOT TO BOB'S HOUSE, HE FOUND THAT BOB, IN UTTER DESPAIR
HAD SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD
"SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO PATIENCE WHATSOEVER" WILLY PROCLAIMED
"WELL I'M NOT KILLING MYSELF, I'M STICKING IT OUT
TODAY'S A SPECIAL DAY, THE LAST DAY OF PLANET EARTH
AND I'M GOING TO ENJOY MYSELF
MAYBE TODAY I WON'T GO TO THE HEALTH SPA
MAYBE I'LL JUST STAY HERE AND DRINK ALL OF BOB'S BEER
OR MAYBE WHEN BOB'S WIFE COMES HOME, I'LL TAKE HER OUT DANCING
YEAH, THAT'S IT, DANCING! I'M GOING HOME TO GET CHANGED"
WILLY RACED OUT THE DOOR INTO THE STREET
NOT NOTICING THE RUNAWAY STEAMROLLER
THAT FLATTENED HIM INTO A PANCAKE IN LESS THAT ONE SECOND
THE WORLD WOULD HAVE TO END WITHOUT WILLY
