I respect what you believe and what you saw, but the amount of times I've tried to hang, drown, suffocate, dehydrate, starve, poison and burn myself to death not one holy being has come to save me, I felt comfort in death and what lie for me after, I felt peace in the moments I was almost gone, He never came, the pain just kept getting worse and it still is, I need to take more meds now, no matter how faithful I try to be, he has never came I never feel anything even in the most holy places. I feel abandoned instead, he hasn't helped me since I figured out that I wasn't just attracted to male and I wasn't just female all the time, I have even been in death, it was calming but there were no angels no god, just peace, I was given the option to live or to stay and I chose to live. It was Hell, not a painful place but a forgiving, caring place, I felt home. Lucifer came to me and offered me my choice of whether I wanted to continue my suffering. I never really knew who it was until now, but I feel comfort and peace in Satan