President Biden
announces obligatory
reprogramming for conservatives; Long-awaited programs for correcting educational
deficiencies among conservative Americans are finally
being rolled out. Late Friday evening, President Biden
announced the creation of a mandatory reeducation
program for all conservatives without a college degree.
Individuals who may have a degree but show evidence
of dire need must also enroll.
Dubbed the Basic Learning and Education Equivalency
Program, the President said "It's main goal is to get
troubled Americans back on track." To make the
program less burdensome for taxpayers, it will be
integrated with a second new initiative, the Gun
Limitation Program. Conservative US Senators are
exempt from both programs, said the President,
because "Well, there's only so much you can really do."
Agents will begin contacting Americans on Monday to
schedule classes and confiscate firearms. Citizens are
urged to cooperate fully to avoid any unnecessary
