We at the Flat Earth Federation firmly believe it is the job of parents, and *not* the government or any other so-called "authority," to make poor decisions on behalf of our nation's children.
As such, we have drafted a list of FEF-approved approaches to the following topics:
1. Schooling
-Ideally, educational deprivation and failure to nurture complex thought should occur in the context of a home environment, where children will at least be safe from mass shooters, though sadly, not from burglars or abusive family members.
2. Vaccines
-No mandates. Not for the COVID jab, not for anything. We believe humanity was fitter overall when life, death, and serious illness and maiming was sorted out via natural selection rather than ameliorated with "modern medicine." I'm sorry - did I say "natural selection?" I meant to say "God's will."
3. Critical Race Theory
-Our nation's children should be instilled with patriotic education from an early age, and taught that our country has always done the right thing by racial minorities. And even if it didn't, all of that was a long time ago anyway and we shouldn't talk about it anymore.
4. LGBTQ
-If children begin to identify with an atypical gender ideology, these feelings should absolutely be instantly crushed and invalidated. Where are they getting these ideas from, anyway? We recommend taking away television and the internet (certainly, at a minimum), take away Disney, take away any form of entertainment that isn't VeggieTales. Start them on a steady diet of Fox News once you judge them to be old enough to understand Democratic corruption.
5. Guns
-Start 'em young, start 'em early. Introduce gun safety as soon as they can hold a pistol and you'll never have to worry!
Bottom-line: Use parental common-sense and use your "Noggin"!
