Let's say Oprah Winfrey - whose only qualification for President is having been on TV a lot since the '80s - decides to run for President in the Democratic Primaries in 2024. In her campaign, she says many bigoted things about white people, and about men, and about many other groups of Americans. Eventually, it comes to light that she's groped dozens of men repeatedly and bragged about it on tape. Various Democrats issue bland denunciations, but the Democratic voter base "loves her honesty" and for "telling it like it is." The Democratic Party rallies to her defense with every new scandal. Winfrey wins the Democratic primaries handily. Mitt Romney wins the comparatively tame Republican Primaries. By Election Day '24, 95+% of Democratic voters ultimately conclude that Oprah Winfrey is still preferable to Romney: the most centrist, least offensive Republican out there. With all the votes tallied, Candidate Winfrey "wins" the '24 election - actually, she loses the popular vote by millions of votes but wins the Electoral College. President Winfrey learns nothing from this narrow victory, however, and proceeds to govern in the exact same inflammatory and divisive fashion in which she campaigned. Up for re-election in '28, this time President Winfrey loses both the popular vote and Electoral College. Sore loser that she is, she cries "election fraud" and holds a rally in Washington, D.C. on the date of the certification where she effectively encourages an angry mob to storm the U.S. Capitol and all the lawmakers within. Over a hundred police officers are injured. Several die. Nothing comes of it. The coup a failure, Winfrey slinks away from the White House in disgrace several days later. But she never gives up the lie, and going forward, she still remains the Democratic Party's most powerful figure by far. WITH THIS DISMAL RECORD, ALL OF AMERICA WANTS TO KNOW: WILL WINFREY RUN AGAIN IN '32? WHY, YES, OF COURSE SHE WILL.
