SDS-sufferer; sloth supporter; Gets information directly from primary, high-level gov’t sources (incl. VP Slobama); “Do you have a source for that?”; “The malt beer scandal will bring sloth down this time!”; Fixed beliefs that don’t change with the wind; Supported the winning side in the last election; Jealous, bitter over defeat probably; Knows the value of loyalty; Believes whatever the misleadia tells him; Intellectually capable of unbiased weighing of alleged scandals in light of sloth’s undeniable contributions; Thinks impeachment will fix the country’s problems