HOW TO LIVE LIKE A ROCK STAR (er, TANGO STAR) IN BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA (By SimoTheFinlandized / Paul Palazzolo - c. 2022 CE)

======================================== HOW TO LIVE LIKE A ROCK STAR (er, TANGO STAR) IN BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA (By SimoTheFinlandized / Paul Palazzolo - c. 2022 CE) ======================================== As the enormous metropolitan capital-city of the Latin-American Spanish-speaking Republic of Argentina, Buenos Aires has by far and large the third-least expensive capital city in terms of general cost-of-living in the entire world, just after that of Ascension (the capital of Uruguay) & Harare (the capital of Zimbabwe). With such a very cheap cost-of- living and yet an outstanding quality-of-living & vastly so much purchasing power at your fingertips, you could in fact very well live like a full-fledged VIP-class rock-star (or "tango-star" as they call it here) right here in the vibrant megapolis that is Buenos Aires. But exactly how do you do this feat? Fortunately for you, my dear reader, becoming a tango-dancing expert and living like a high-life rock-star can easily go hand-in-hand if you learn how to hack the city of Buenos Aires (often abbreviated as "BsAs") properly. ======================================= First, why exactly live here in BsAs? What's the deal here? There are three major reasons right off the top of my head: ======================================= 1) Buenos Aires is a city that needs almost no introduction, with its name being a byword for excitement, a rich lifestyle, and cosmopolitanism. It may be known as the "Paris of the South" for precisely those reasons, but few cities in the world have such a unique and individual character. But it's not just the cultural aspects that expats will enjoy — there's also free healthcare and education, efficient public transportation, and a good infrastructure that will give anyone making Buenos Aires their home all the conveniences of many major European cities. Many expats will find themselves working for major corporations in the city, involved with industries such as oil and gas, but technology and English teaching are two other common vocations for foreigners. With the industrial base as diverse as the population, you'll be sure to meet a wide variety of people here, as well as out on the streets. A great and lively metropolis created by large swathes of incoming immigrants from the lands of Spain, Italy, and Germany, you will inevitably get the best food, architecture, and overall culture from all three of those places. It is also considered by far one of the safest cities in all of the continent of South America. Its inhabitant people, as a direct result of the cosmopolitan genetic admixture of the three European-based peoples, also in addition make very good & beautiful physical specimens, as well. ========================================= 2) Argentina is pretty much like the metaphorical New Zealand of the Western Hemisphere. From trekking tropical rain forests in the northern parts of the country to pursuing world-class skiing resorts in southerly Patagonia, it practically has it all. You can check out all the rare tropical birds or watch cute penguins get mercilessly eaten by killer whales — it’s completely your choice. Argentina is, in short, a very beautifully mega-diverse country. ======================================== 3) It is quite very possible to live like a high-life VIP-class rock-star millionaire on only a mere $30,000 USD a year, due to its extremely low cost- of-living. US dollars here get you a quality of life that is all but impossible back here in the USA. Even with the getting-there costs, you can still easily save more than a whopping $10,000 on your trip when compared to just sitting perfectly still in Silicon Valley, and you can be living like a veritable rock-star the whole time in BsAs: we're talking 5-star meals, VIP tables with bottomless drinks and all-night partying, high-end tango - you can literally (and opulently) name it. ======================================== So, should you go ahead and take on the jump and move to Argentina? There are people who have successfully done it and fared extremely well with it, but I would still heartily recommend you take a 1-to-3-month “mini-retirement” first to take it for a test drive in its waters. Here are a few helpful recommendations to get you started: ======================================== TIMING: ======================================== Airfare to BsAs will run between $500-850 for a all- around-trip, so ensure that you’re staying for quite a while. Remember that it’s summer and also just as hot as hell in BsAs in December-January. November or March-April are gorgeous, and summer time in the US is perfect for skiing in Bariloche or Las Lenas. ========================================= FLIGHTS: ========================================= You can generally fly Continental/Copa through Panama, if you want to spend 1-4 weeks snorkeling in Coiba in Panama (why not get two trips for the price of one?). If not, Aerolineas Argentina often offers good prices, and you can sometimes get deals by flying into Rio or Sao Paulo, Brazil and then to BsAs on Gol or TAM. Check airfares immediately after 1am on Saturday nights (Sunday mornings), when many airlines lower prices based on “flight load” (ratio of sold-to-empty seats). =========================================== HOUSING: =========================================== One negative aspect of Argentina, especially in BsAs — is that people will attempt to overcharge you. This will happen in any country with a rather weak currency. You can rent rooms with families, use Argentine brokers to get shared apartments, rent posh penthouses from expats, and find hidden gems through Germans. The general conclusion? It’s not worth the headache to deal with most Argentines and attempt to save a few hundred dollars. Try to deal exclusively with non- Argentines. There are some great Argentines, to be sure, but they have the reputation among South Americans for being rather unreliable. Use www.craigslist.org or another reliable outfit: http://www.ba4uapartments.com.ar. Even if you're not gay, take advantage of how gay-friendly agencies keep their apartments: impeccably clean. Airbnb is a great option, as the platform mitigates a lot of the issues. No matter what, you’ll likely end up paying three times more than an Argentine. A decent room in a good location can be found for about $300 USD, a great single bedroom apartment can be found for about $700 -800 USD, but here’s one tip: if you can get a friend to come with you (or if you have a family), a two-bedroom or three-bedroom can be had for $1,200-1,300, and it will be by far 10x more luxurious than the one-bedroom. The generally best areas to live are, in descending order of general preference: Recoleta (near Plaza Francia), Palermo, Barrio Norte, and San Telmo. Puerto Madero is the most expensive area and people fight for it, but it’s quite boring unless it’s a weekend evening. ============================================== CLUBS, VIP TREATMENT, & FOOD-&-DRINK: ============================================== Try to spend an evening walking around one of the best hotels in BsAs, such as The Four Seasons, Sheraton, or Hotel Alvear, and make friends with one of the managers on call. They get VIP tables at all of the top clubs — Asia de Cuba, Opera Bay, Mint, Amerika, etc. — and can personally get you on the lists, so try to invite them for drinks and ask them for suggestions of where to meet. If not, just visit the clubs around 10pm on a Thursday or Friday and ask to meet the director of special events, or the manager (“gerente”). Tell him you’d like to bring some friends to the club and ask how to get on the list. Keep his card in your wallet to flash at bouncers. In the worst-case scenario, you can just spend $50 USD with a few friends and you can get a 6-person VIP table with unlimited champagne for the night. In terms of wining and dining, try restaurants like Gran Bar Danzon and La Bistecca, but more than both combined, you should try some of the hole-in-the-wall parrillada (Argentine BBQ) restaurants. Just wander down Lavalle off of Avenida Florida and take your pick: the beef sandwiches for $3 USD (use plenty of chimichurri) will blow your mind. ============================================= TANGO: ============================================= If you have no interest in tango before visiting Argentina, thinking it's effeminate and ridiculous, the truth is that social tango is completely improvised (much like break- dancing). Chest to chest, strangers will embrace and get to know each other more in three minutes than 10 dates would otherwise accomplish. Every night of the week, tango rules the night, only really getting started around 1am. Here are some general-favorite milongas (tango dance halls): “New wave” (nueva onda) tango dance halls with a 20-30-something crowd include “La Viruta” at Armenia and Cordoba, inside the Armenian Cultural Center (odd, I know). 1am+ on Wed, Sat, and Sunday are a good time to try. For a more traditional and older crowd, “Sunderland” or “La Baldosa” — find an “El Tangauta” magazine in any tango shop, or at La Viruta, for addresses and all the tango information you can handle. If it is your first time in BsAs, it would be recommended for having an Argentine friend call the teachers and ask for pricing for an unnamed “friend,” not mentioning that you’re a foreigner. Otherwise, it is promised that you will be overcharged. Smelling dollars, someone who should cost 50 pesos/hour will ask for 80 dollars. You should be able to get excellent private lessons for 50 pesos/hour. Good group lessons can be f ound at the Carlos Coppelo school in front of Shopping Abasto. ============================================ If you want to live like a king, it’s just a few thousand miles south. Viva la Argentina! ============================================