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This vent is before I even found out about this site... and a while before the pandemic..
I didn't quite understand everything about my life yet.
Back then, people's expectations were high.. I didn't care about those.. what was required of me.. I blown out of the water.. but during the pandemic, I tried to live up to everyone's expectations... and what was required of me.. with little success.. because I always thought something was wrong with me.. just because everyone thought I was "weird".
My life was completely flipped.. up to the point where I didn't feel like myself anymore. I kept looking at my past mistakes, and sometimes.. I felt like my life was beyond just trying to be "normal".. but I never thought about looking into that side... instead, focusing on what would've been... if all the bad things that happened to me in life.. didn't.
It's just... it's just hard when you're in a world where no one appreciates you for just... existing. I'm a kid at heart.. no matter how long it's been.. I still felt like a kid.. even when I wanted to be serious.. and no amount of magic... or how much I've grown up... or some other third thing.. could ever change who I was inside.. a kid.