You got things RIGHT and WRONG.
In the game, Toriel mentions that the other fallen childen(-Chara) all met the same fate of wanting to LEAVE the ruins, so Toriel tested their skills to see if they would survive out there, and after seeing that they would, she DID let them go, but they died out there. Toriel tries her best to keep all of the children that fall SAFE from the outside world, NOT just Asgore.
Toriel and Asgore were both very upset after loosing Asriel and Chara in one day, and Asgore declared that all humans that fall would be murdered, Toriel was disgusted at his actions, especially after since Chara was their adopted HUMAN child, and they were supposed to bring hope of reaching the surface to the Underground. Asgore would've said that both of their children have been taken away from the Humans when Chara is ALSO a human.
Asgore would've been annoyed about Chara being the adoptive child at first, but soon realized not all humans WERE bad until they killed Asriel, when he was just trying to do his siblings dying wish.
Toriel was just massively disgusted by his actions of wanting to kill every human that fell. She LEFT him to rule without knowing all the conciquences. Asgore tries to change for Toriel, but she will reject him regardless of what he does, so Toriel is the dick there. Asgore was left in dispare, hopeless and sadness for so long, he just wanted to give everyone hope of reaching the surface again. Asgore hated humanity for whatever reason that no-one besides him really knows besides him(And possibly Gaster)
Hope this clears some things up for you.
But seriously, who's the jerk here? Toriel or Asgore?
