Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman, out of rain, in the dessert.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

There has never been a hurricane named Chuck because it would have destroyed everything.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

So he can make minute rice in 20 seconds.
Your posts contradict each other.
I sentence you to spontaneous Ryan Reynolds

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.

Chuck Norris can eat your buttchecks

what the

ayo you broke the chain

Sorry

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.

Chuck is a chad

Chuck Norris doesn't need to shave. His beard is scared to grow.

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

W-why do I hear boss music???

Chad mentality

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

what’s with the span

Click the username. Apparently there are almost 0 comments that he posted. Wtf???

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.