The reason why I keep a very ear-splitting and deafening silence about my pitiful cripplingly-depressed psycho-emotional situation, is out of the bone-chilling and everlasting haunt-of-a-fear that if I dare open up about my broken-inside feelings and sodden tumult to any other extant sentient-being for any reason (be it for love, trying to socially-connect, or to get help for my ailing situation), I will cause even more pain and suffering in this world because they'll be feeling a tinge of what unholy hellish fire I feel on the inside every day just to empathize with me and inadvertently suffer an equal amount of pain as well, something that I could never forgive myself for, as it was my barbed-wire cross to bear with bleeding hands, and no one else's. I feel the suffering of those I love and care about seven-fold compared to them, whether I like it or not, and may God forbid my right to enter Heaven if I dare cause any suffering to a loved one - I could never forgive myself for that, even into the shores of eternity. If anyone reading this is surprised, horrified, depressed, stressed, anxious, and/or appalled by reading this, for my sake or others, my point for why I keep so eerily silent about my internal suffering has been proven exactly. I'm sorry from the depths of my soul for opening up about this - I guess I'll shut up now, never to open up again about this, ever, then.
