Why-

Mine died when I shoved it up my ass

What the f**k?

Yall hamsters either defective or got murdered my 2 hamsters and 3 guinea pigs died of age

one of my classmates threw her cousin's hamster down the stairs. she's very proud of this

I'm going to throw them down the stairs.

please don't she's actually really nice other than that

How? she throw a hamster down a stairs then acts proud about it. That aint nice behavior!

key words other than that

another time my dad and my uncle had to babysit their friend's hamster (might've been a guinea pig but that's not the point). this was a terrible idea. they decided "okay, let's fill a shopping bag with cotton balls and the hamster and whack it against a big rock to see if it survives!" it didn't. in order to not upset their friend, they tossed what used to be the hamster, bag and all, into the sewer. afterwards they said the hamster "ran away" and i'm not sure they've revealed the truth to this day

What do your friends and family have against hamsters :0

this was like early 90s so don't worry! the hamster probably isn't still in the sewers

gerbil whatev

Mine died when i made it go bowling

Mine died of trauma after my mom chased it around the house with a butterfly net

Yeah, someone (me) accidentally loosened the cages lock and in the middle of the night it escaped, my mom couldn’t catch it by hand so she had to chase it around the house with a butterfly net in the middle of the night.

That is the worst way for a hamster to die.

It died a few weeks later

Sorry for your loss

Ngl i would also eat my hamster

Everybody gangsta til someone removes context from hubie...

Ooooookkkkkaaaaaayyyyyyyy -

Sorry step bro

guess I'll have to bring the event here.
And you're invited!
by invited I mean you have to.

What the f**k did I just witness-

Nothing.
wanna join nothing?

Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh

of course you do.
You are invited!

UuUuUuhHhHhHhHhHhHh

oh, that's a silly thing.
We both know that you don't have the option to come to me...

Uhhhhh, ookkkaaaayyyyy-

*to not come to the fun

U h h h h h h h h -

You will be forced to have fun after I am finished with TGM here.

0_0

Okay, so where do we start..?
heheh..
I'll let you choose this time.

0_o

...
c'mon, I'm being nice...
At least I'm letting you choose what you want to do with your Fs.

* runs *

no, no, no.
Get back here.
*you look back for a moment and run into a wall right when you turn around.*
Where do you think you're going?
sorry, but you no longer have choices.
I might have even gone easy on ya...
wrong choice, you childish being...

0_________0

I said "ladies first" and you denied my request...
you're about to experience a bad time...
but it'll be a good time if you just accept it.

MOTHER, HELP-

OH GOD

ಢ‸ಢ

alright, I'll get off of ya for a moment.
Thanks for holding that.
I'll take it back now-

ᆍ〈ᆍ

alright, don't go thinking you're safe just yet.
*shakes pepsi again and opens it in Australia*
(hint on what that means: what's Australia's nickname?
then translate it as being slang for something else-)

0~0

aaaand now I've gotten you to win the race, I believe...
we'll see when the tank empties.

What

well-
I'll leave you to it~

well i declined

Oh, what's that? You want me to give you an even BETTER time next time?
I'D SUGGEST YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

0_0

*2 hours later...*
ah, what do ya know...
guess I got that milk.

ayo-

well, thanks.
I'll separate it from the pepsi-
hmm, not bad...
We'll have to do this again soon...

no

I didn't ask.
I ordered.

0_____0

I like this one more.
good job.

0_________0👍

wait a minute.
where did you get this?

Uhhh

...
"Sis, where were you last night?"

...No where...

"really eh?
huh, guess all this milk on the shirt ya wore last night is just a spill from when we were cooking then..."
psst...
I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

0_0

...
And you didn't even invite me...

NO

fine then.
not like I'm gonna control your-
emotions...
wait a minute, next time we play, I'll invent something with my petabyte of pure IQ to create something to manipulate emotion...
You're not off the hook yet, though.

0_0

3, 2, 1...
he-re we GAAaaaaAA

AYO

*a few minutes later...*
w-whew, you're really putting up a fight...
c'mon, I know you're close to the finish line...

( •᷄⌓•᷅ )

*thinking*
darnit...
I need her to win this race, and I'm getting a bit ahead...

(。ŏ_ŏ)。

Guess I have to cheat then...
*shakes up spontaneously-appearing can of pepsi and gives it to you*
here, hold this for a moment please..

;-;

Wow-

I too can be cursed.

Amazing job!
You earned a 'cookie' . . . 🍪 Don't ask what's in it

"It tastes like sh*t"

. . . . .

...
I LOVE IT!

Loll great!

can I have another?
It's been 2 weeks.

🍪

hmm
this one is especially chocolatey...
wait a minute.
You didn't use cow milk for this.