C'MON MAN! I FELL OFF OF MY BIKE. BUT IT WASN'T MY FAULT! IT WAS THE RUSSIANS! PUTIN'S BIKE HIKE! NO, NO. IT WAS TRUMP'S FAULT!
WAIT, IT WAS TIRE INFLATION CAUSED BY BIG OIL!
IT WAS THE GREEDY BIKE COMPANIES!
I MEAN, I MEAN, IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
NOTHING IS MY FAULT!