call the police

your uncle doesn't count

My uncle doesn’t have my number tho…
I’m dead serious who tf is this

I’m a pedophile but even I wouldn’t do that.

based

arm yourself

I don’t know what that means but I’m just gonna assume you mean that I should insert my whole arm inside myself
No

get a weapon

thats what it means to arm yourself f**king idiot

ooooh lol
Yeah that makes more sense
I’ll make some homemade pepper spray or something I just need to make sure I don’t accidentally mix mustard gas like I nearly did while bleaching my hair