.-.

best reason

That must be Cayde.

frizz

Did you mean it when you said "I hate everyone"? Cuz like,,,
YOU'RE SO F**KING NICE

I'm extremely polite. I bow when I greet people even though it's not culture.

But all I see if ugliness, either physical or f**king mental.
I can look up to a person when I'm with them,
and end up disgusted by them the next moment for absolutely no reason.
There's this urge to tell everybody they're wrong and won't ever be right, but it's so well-hidden ._. that sometimes I forget about it.
I'm completely normal, and I won't ever snap. This shit would never show itself outside of my head,
but it would always be there.
Most of what I say and do turns out to be just stuff I want to believe to feel normal,
but it doesn't mean I'm not honest. I'm completely honest with whatever I'd say, but I would never say anything at all except for when I'm not trying to look normal.

I could think i n s t e a d of talking, cuz people don't matter and no matter what they try to talk about or ask me, I just won't give a shit.
But I do talk, and people don't feel as if I look down on them, cuz it's so well-hidden.

Is this narcissism?

Well, being respectful is .-. what you're supposed to do. Especially as a young person to an adult, thats the norm, so of course people would think you're normal for that.

THAT I S A SKILL TO HAVE. Not snapping ._. you're lucky in a way. And you're n0t "normal". You have a completely different outlook on the world, and that's o k a y , because it's good to be aware instead of some society-sculpted hunk of flesh shaped to simply be set off into the filthy world as another useless walking puzzle piece.

It's not narcissism unless you feel superior. If you a r e looking down on all these people, thinking "I'm so much better than these idiots," t h a t ' s narcissism. Sometimes I think I am a narcissist- because that is literally my mindset. Of course, not with everyone, but when I see these ugly creatures walk and talk in the .-. ways humans do, theres this second of self worth I feel knowing that I am n0t like these blind losers and I , genuinely , do think I am better. But just. hating people the way they are just for hating people the way they are, is n o t narcissism.

Listen. You are smart and absolutely correct, because people a r e disgusting and deserved to be looked down on. But. If all you see is annoying clumps of cells, you will spend your life simply hating. And hatred is not a good feeling for anyone. Even me.. Ye know how you say you think that people are really interesting to watch and tingz? I feel the same way, so, I try to make a really wide variety of friends. Meaning... black people, brown people, yellow people (stfu), n0t white people, racists, uh, queer people, homophobes, people who are super religious and traditional and people who are athiests and hate the concept of God,,, all these p e o p l e . And it's so damn cool. Because , uhhhh ye know how we say "the government is not the same as the people"? It's the same as that. "The human race sterotype we create in our souls cannot count for everyones indivisual personality and background". And knowing this it's a little easier to accept the stupidity the human race shows me in general. It's tiring to h a t e all the time.

So I'm a narcissist. But I don't want to be bigger, so I'm not a narcissist.
And if I'm smart, I don't want to be smart. I want to have the indifference of a homeless drug addict, I legitimately envy his life. He doesn't have to think about anything, he knows nothing, he's simply free of his SeLf.

.-. what's the point of living ? If you don't have a

SeLf.

Not having a self is. the sexiest thing I can imagine.
Not having a concrete identity.
Not being who everyone makes you to be.
Not expecting anything from yourself.
Maybe not even having moral bounds.

your s e l f is made out of how people think of you,, there's nothing wrong with it but uh. N o .

That sort of freedom scares me.

I don't connect with people.
It's one-way, I understand t h e m .
But I NEVER START A CONVERSATION WITH H I OR HRU, never. Just talk about things, go over absolutely everything until you see your cue to stop and talk about a subject that they're interested in so you can stfu and hear them talk all they want.
That's what I do, I just ask questions.
Try doing that. f**k courtesy and greetings. be polite without the shit.

I think about philosophical questions too,,, that's all. If my head starts to hurt, I read something.

That's scary. Cuz most people don't even understand themselves.
That is .-. I don't wanna .-. I don't f**king care how their day went.

well
Alright. You should try to think about more then smart people stuff tho, it's easier.

So you're saying
you actually
w o n ' t enjoy listening to them ._. ?

OF COURSE I WOULD.

But like. not every f**king day.
Maybe if it was a part-time job. But I don't think being a psychiatrist is a part-time thing.

But it's just in the head.
I'd never
snap 😩

If you lose your `morality`, do you have a tendency to go on a murder spree or sum shit? Assuming it also takes away your f e a r ¿

W e K n o w .

Not always, I don't think. Losing mortality doesn't always mean doing shit like rape and murder... you could be a quiet psychopath, yeknow?
But maybe with the fear. You wouldn't be scared of death, and you wouldn't be scared of seeing a dead body, or even killing someone, but that doesn't mean you .-. h a v e to kill someone.

J o b . _ . but you'd be a psychiatrist,,,
people would pay you to tell you their secrets and talk about their depraved minds.

I don't want
other people's shit
as a part of my daily life 💀

You should be a psychiatrist.

I'm probably wrong about them, but that's because I hate them.
Literally the whole city's feeling exactly what they feel, and telling me the temperature isn't gonna change shit. Wtf do people think they're doing when they tell you it's too hot . gay ass mfs

fine ig you are my little pog champ *sigh* come here

I love you, son.

w h a -

It's just supposed to be a conversation starter.
But it became overused and .-. there is literally no way to continue that "conversation"...

Yes.

So you're saying
you actually
w o n ' t enjoy thinking about psychology 24/7?

Really, psychiatrists really detach themselves from the shit when they're talking to you.
It's exhausting, so they try not to emotionally attach with anyone and stay on point just with questions and reports and medicine. So it's not fun.

No. Not 24/7. That's too tiring.

I think .-. talking with people could be fun, though. Journalists, politicians, people who interview people and get money off of it,,, I'd rather do that sorta thing. You don't always have to be f**king... deep into their head to think their thoughts are interesting.

But a lot of people are actually boring.

how tf

All kinds of silence have this elusiveness to them, which makes it cool.
It could be t h e ``quiet before a storm``, or you sitting beside someone reading a book and thinking if they're actually reading the book or thinking of trying to start a conversation.

no. A lot of the times its just . . . dull and they're just so boring . . . ugh. People.

._. you really think about all this when the room gets quiet?

You'd definitely want to try.
Not just a quiet psychopath, you'd be a relatively intelligent one and would love to murder someone out of curiosity.

Be a surgeon, or a psychiatrist,
and cut people open, either physically or mentally. Is that an ideal life for a quiet psychopath¿

uh
I guess.

W o a h . Yes. I never thought of that... or you could just make 9yr olds commit suicide online 💀💀💀💀

Ye ye, most people are boring.
I wouldn't interview a politician,,, t h a t is more boring. You can practically look through them, if you get it,,, u g h .

In a way.

But I love listening to people talk, in general. It could be about anything. Cuz everyone talks differently.

.

No. Uncultured. U g h .
Be a psychiatrist.

,

P f f f t
Ugh ._. thats too much work.. I'd rather just , look at stuff in my own time.

It was really f**king to hard to come up with those examples.
I dOn't have to think about it when I'm talking, it's just,,, I just get to know,,,,,, kinda._. it's intuitive, I guess. Useless skill to have cuz I don't meet people often. But you could learn it.

ok 👍 lovyetoo.

u made good ass examples 😩
I could not. I'd n e v e r be able to pay that much attention.

Absolutely no conscious human can be boring.
They can be boring to themselves, and when they talk, but they're full of weird ass stories and weird ways to look at things,
that you can tap in,,, and sometimes they themselves can't. story of every ordinary man.

what do yOu think about¿ other than violent sex fantasies.

How tf .
But some just don't have anything to say. "Hi hru" mfs.
Maybe you just connect with people better.

I DON'T HAVE VIOLENT SEX FANTASYS776*&(*&)(
uhh

You 🥺
Why do men have nipples
The future
The past
Life
Suicide, not exactly doing it, just in general.
This generation
USSR
"Why am I here"
"What's at the end of the galaxy"
"Is there such thing as life purpose"
"How will I die"
Uhh sometimes I wish I could change myself, for a day or two.
You 🥺

It's fun studying, bruh.

Exactly .-. not as a job, tho

Do you absolutely hate people who mention the weather?

I want to say no

but

The things they talk about when they're telling you about their day, would tell you a lot about them.
If they mention people, they have a keen eye, and tend to get jealous.
If they mention the weather, they have absolutely nothing to talk about.
If they mention the stuff they saw on their way to school, which is the same stuff every day, they're probably romantics.
If they mention the last guy they saw you with, they like you or just want to be friends.
If they mention cats, they want to be seen as gentle and warm. for some reason.
how is getting to know all this,, b o r i n g , , ,

Fine.

I don't.... this information does n o t occur to me when I talk to people.
When I talk .-. I just say what comes to my head. Not a good habit to have, but I'm always, real,, I think. Does it not tire you out to think about all this whenever someone simply

speaks?

and. You're s o not-boring to talk to babe. This is really why I love you.

Y e . it's nice.
I also love n o t listening to people talk,,, like,.,.,.,.,.
just sitting and not saying anything. cuz everyone has a different silence.

Deep asf ._.

but only
only a few silences are good.

W h y do you NoT hate people who mention the weather,,

I said I do wym bruh

._. really?

Of course.

I feel like
you're friends w everyone .-.

I'm curious about people.
I don't like to make friends.

but uh
Cayde dated Breezy for a day.
Breezy still regrets it.

But you have a wife and a son .-.

At least it was just for a day.

I have friends. They just
come.
uh
u get it
introvert, I guess. I don't know.

With Cayde, it usually lasted just that long.

I get it. And I love you.

. _ . ye. When I stalk you, I see a lot of small talk with like.
You and Maze, for example. Fun to read.

.

Painful conversations.
I don't know wtf I talked about with Maze.

Random shit 💀 he's so .-. pitiful, though. The tone when you guys talk is always feels like... you're looking down on him and he doesn't realize it .