A lot of children ask me stupid f**kin' questions
Like if I rape little kids, or if I believe in it
Well, shit. If you believe that, I'll rape you
Know why? Coz I'm a pedophile!
Pedophile! You go***mn right
I'm a literal pedophile
Yeah, I'm a pedophile!
My words are like a ziptie with a plastic edge
It'll tie you to my bed, whether you're 8, 9, or 10
Prepubescent, toddler, infants, or less
Baby pants or dress; f**k kids? The answer's "yes"
Heterophobic, nah you're just pederophobic
Starin' at my hard drive, my collection is growin'
That's my motherf**kin' child porn, you better let go of it
It belongs in my folder; you'll never get all of it
Hey, it's me, Jeffrey Epstein; everyone respects me
I'm just kiddin' myself; Get it? "Kid in myself"
You're already banned, you should be gettin' some help
Committed, medicated, or just sittin' in jail
(C'mon!) Relax, guys, I like Shaelin
Right, bitch? Give me an "amen" (Max, stop!)
Rumor has it MrGirl has a few abusive habits
and I'm late for work, coz I'm stuck in human traffic
Yeah, I play Smash Brothers, I play Smash Sisters
Smash Daughters and Nieces
and Nephews, smash 'em to pieces
and I wear white vans and I drive one too
C'mon, kid. I got some V-bucks for you (cha-ching!)
Got them sendin' me death threats, and tell me to f**k off
I don't care if I get doxxed, I already got my rocks off
Yeah, I'm so damn spent, can't even pay my rent
Haters get bent, like the f**kin' age of consent
coz age is just a number, jail is just a place
FBI, that's him right here, yeah I'm your worst nightmare
They call me school shooter, but not with a gun
I'm gonna come find you, and then I'm gonna cum
So, show me that peepee, it's LGBTP
Watchin' Cuties on repeat, be beatin' my meat-meat
Fixated on the blonde one, she's got a good figure
I said "daaaamn"
Call my right hand the wood-chipper!
I'm burnin' this track harsh, first name Max
Oh, you look lost; oh, shit I found you a M.A.P.
Call me Wreck-It Ralph
I'm sweatin' while I touch a child
Flash a smile, wet and wild, yes I'm a vile
Bitch, I'm a pedophile!
Every time, I make a vid, people think it's a sin
to statutory rape a kid
Pedophile
See, what you wanna see
What you want me to be
Keep hatin' me, baby; I keep rapin' these babies
I'm a literal pedophile
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- Lyrics to MrGirl's parody of "Criminal" -
